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Hi Trev90,

Well done on being clean for 2 months, that’s really positive, keep going. I think if you do continue as you are you will find that your anxiety will get better as well.

I am the Mum of an addict, drugs and alcohol and it ruins lives, it is an evil drug, but they will only stop when they want too.

Would he join any groups like NA or anything, perhaps you could go together, most meetings are held via zoom at the moment.

My Son does meetings every day and he finds them very useful.

There are fantastic people on here who are really good to talk too, I only joined last week and have found it really helpful.

Keep going for you, take care.

Dx

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Hi Lindyloo,

Sorry only just seen you message.

Sounds absolutely awful, but I do know where your coming from, having had to pay drug debts for my son on previous occasions.

Has he ever been in rehab? Does he talk to anyone apart from the meetings?

My Son actually contacted the Rehab himself and spoke to them for nearly a year before he went.

Being back with his ex girlfriend sounds horrendous, my Son is useless with relationships and has been told not to be involved in them to help his recovery. He has a sponsor and is working through the 12 steps, I really think this helps, I know it’s not a cure.

There are loads of places that can offer help, there is a story on here that has a rehab mentioned in it, it is quite reasonable, it’s on the Adfam website, about other people’s situations.

Thinking of you at this awful time, and always here to chat.

Dx

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Hi Janeygoffin,

Sorry to hear your going through such a hard time with your Son.

I only joined this site yesterday and have had some great people to chat too, and so many people going through exactly the same.

If your Son is asking for help then perhaps he is ready to get serious help, does he say what kind of help he wants?

I don’t know anything about Heroin, my own experience with my Son is cocaine and alcohol.

Speaking to your Sons Doctor is a good starting point, see what he says and go from there.

Let me know how you get on, take care.

Dx

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Hi Lindyloo loo,

I would leave him today, which I know is hard, but I know from experience it doesn’t do any good and they just get more angry.

Sometimes we just have to think of ourselves for a change, but they are always there in our head and our heartS.

Dx

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Hi Danman83,

Thank you for replying and well done on being clean for 2 weeks, that’s a great start.

My Son tells me about his head and telling him to have one drink, it will be fine, that must be awful to deal with for anyone.

I told him it was just a blip and today is another day, he has been into meetings today and spoke to his sponsor.

I hope your recovery journey goes well.

Take care.

Dx

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Hi Lindyloo,

I feel exactly the same about talking to family members, as you say it would blow their minds.

I do talk to my friends, but they are lucky they don’t have to deal with addiction, and I don’t think people really understand unless they do have to deal with it.

When he’s clean and sober, life is good again, such a dramatic change, and a pleasure to live with.

The drugs and drink completely take over their life and turn them into people that you hardly recognise as belonging to you, which is very hard to see.

I love my Son too, but boy it’s hard work sometimes.

Wishing you all the best and hoping your Son reaches out for help.

Dx

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Hi BT1978,

Thank you for replying.

He does feel ashamed and guilty, and I tell him that it’s a blip and to get back on track the next day.

I think you have it so right when you say, it is a lifelong battle, hopefully one that he wins.

Take care

D

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Hi, I replied to you on the other post, thank you for reading, it’s great to know we can share our stories.

Like you I feel that my life is on hold till he sorts his out.

Dx

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Hi Lindyloo,

It is so hard to know exactly what is the right thing to do, I think I have spent/borrowed (never having any back) thousands over the years, but they are very clever in making us feel very guilty and also saying the most vile things at times.

I have learnt that they do not mean these things that they say, although very hurtful at the time.

I have read lots about addiction, but not really understanding the way that they think, I don’t think we ever will.

I have probably enabled my Son lots over the years, but not knowing what else to do, it was sometimes the easiest option, as soon as they have what they want they are calm again, it’s one big viscious circle, which if they never seek help for will never be broken.

Like you it does affect my health, I get really anxious and have a permanent knot in my stomach, which quite honestly really doesn’t make you feel like doing anything at all.

I hope this helps you a little bit, stay strong and it’s really good to know we have somewhere to come to share our problems. I only joined today. Take care.

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Hi, my Son didn’t think he had a problem with drink and drugs until he went to Rehab, they are very good, and also very expensive.

I think as somebody else said there are meetings every day, and start looking at the 12 steps to recovery.

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