[Despair]

Hi. I think you have absolutely done the right thing. My partner drank herself to death a year after I left. I have tortured myself over and over but the truth is it would have happened anyway as she didn’t even say she wanted to stop.  Prior to leaving I endured either abuse or being treat like I wasn’t there. After I left I had repeated phone calls and messages telling me everything was my fault but in reality it gave her yet another excuse to keep drinking.  I’m devastated and grieving the person I loved and thought loved me prior to the drinking becoming really bad. The harsh reality is that the alcohol is the only motivation in life and nothing else matters anymore. I feel so cheated and now I’m alone again at 54 and will never trust my own judgement to ever be in a relationship again.  Ultimately however there is only you that can answer your question.  When I went to her funeral I had some people sitting in judgement but they want to try living in my shoes for a few days never mind years and see how they feel now. The person I loved turned into a monster and i am glad the monster can’t hurt me anymore but still grieving the person I loved before the drink. If I hadn’t left I would have ended up either killing myself or been sectioned. Good luck.

[Despair]

<p style=”text-align: right;”>Thanks for the support. It’s so hard and I wish you all the best with your situation.  It is awful and there will always be a sense of how did it get to this.</p>

[Despair]

Hi. Sorry you’re going through this. I lost my partner of 16 years due to alcohol dependence 5 weeks ago. My partner was never ready to change despite acknowledging a problem. I used to feel angry and think she didn’t love me anymore due to the addiction.  I have worked hard to let go of my anger about the situation as despite her only dying 5 weeks ago  I have been grieving the person I lost 3 years ago due to addiction.  All I ever wanted was for her to try and even in relapse it would have seen a shift in the right direction.  I would urge you to talk  to your partner honestly and then I’m sure they will help you.  I’m sure they will also feel happy you’re trying.  When you’re struggling try and think of all the things/people you love and how they would feel if you weren’t here anymore. Even at our lowest when we think noone cares they do they just feel helpless. Good luck and be strong. You’ve cracked it once and can do it again. X

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