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Hi Anita
Thank you so much taking the time to respond, very much appreciated and make me feel I am not alone. Well done to your son and wish him the best of life.
Money been the root cause of our son addiction and seems like mission impossible to cut this out. There was time where my wife didn’t give him money for few weeks but he managed to get weekend jobs so he can afford weed.
As we stand he is on it from morning till he goes to bed. I must say he is the politest most charming boy you ever come cross if I don’t talk about weed use, however, he turns into a monster as soon as weed mentioned, hence, my wife happy to finance it as with it he present himself as interested and intelligent person
Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for giving me hope. So happy for you, your son doing his best to sober up, he is so lucky to have a mother like you and am sure he appreciated.
Apologies for my spelling and grammar mistakes in the previous post but am writing using my phone and I was so emotional writing it as I never talked about my struggles with my son.
Seeing my son throwing away his present, future and maybe his life, is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life and I’ve been through a lot. He is basically vanishing before my eyes. He lost so much weight and looks very very thin, he hardly eat since heavy cannabis use block appetite.
The whole irony, am still talking about him and not even taking a minute to say how I feel.
This month, he hasn’t smoked weed in the house but he still keep it in his room so the smell still overwhelming.
Last night I begged him again to get help told how much I love him and my utter willingness to get him private therapy and rehab and offered to buy him a car, holiday and permanent job if he decides not to get uni or if he doesn’t get any grade, as a man it’s very hard to beg and I weeped while talking to him. His response was: leave me alone and don’t destroy my summer same, I am an adult this my life not yours I can do whatever I want. I love you so much dad but ultimately it’s my life.
My wife thinks like him and say, it’s his choice and you should love your son the way he is even if he is an addict, she always financed his addiction indirectly. She talk to him like there isn’t any problem and very happy to ignore the whole addiction subject so my son obviously has a better relationship with his mum. However, it’s very sad relationship as he will not talk to her about anything happening in his life nor sit with her more than 5-10 minutes a day but she is very happy he is not rude to her. She gets on well with her life interms of socialising and happy to host various girls night till very late.
She will not agree to any sanctions and never ever say no to him. That’s the truth I promise you.
So very difficult situation for me as I am the only one in the house who is always sad and worried. I’ve been told I need to chill and take it day by day but can’t do that knowing I am being disrespected daily, ignored and being used for cash only to pay for the big house in Surrey, private schools….etc
Hi
Just read this post, so sorry for what you going through, fully understand the pain.
Please read:
My son 18 years old, the smartest people I ever known, won several awards in physics and chemistry and was invited to Cambridge at the age of 14, holds Surrey district 100 meter sprint since the age of 13 and was very talented footballer and rugby player and on top of that my best friend and the light in my eyes. He started the occasional cannabis use at 14 occasionally with his mates since he is very social and always pretended to be the man. Now he is 18, he is fully dependent on weed, he start in the morning then the last one before he goes to bed at midnight. He is shadow of the person he was: no friends, lost lots of weight, no interested in his future, neglected his studies and didn’t bother to study for his A levels, basically, he is not interested in anything. We barely talk since he gets very rude as soon as I mention weed. He stole large amount of money from me over the years. He has a record with the police as he was caught three time. On one night out he was found by police at 4am in the street beaten up with cut lips and smashed nose and was roped of his wallet, phone, cannabis and a very expensive jacket.
He use to get money to by weed from his mum as she ignore the fact that there is a problem and she think he will eventually comeback to his senses.
I clashed with him several times over smoking weed in his room and twice gone physical, although he mostly doesn’t smoke in the house but he still does if he gets drunk or if I go to bed early.
My son was and still
My heart beats but can’t stand looking at him anymore due to the pain caused by cannabis use and all the humiliation i been through from neighbour complaining to police to shouting to stealing to calling me names. I am shadow of the person I was, hardly socialise and constantly arguing with my wife because of him. Our life are upside down and happiness sucked away from our home.
Please advise