[desperate-mother]

Thank you for your support – it is so hard dealing with it isn’t it? He is so ‘normal’ (whatever normal is) when his daughter is around and they have a fab relationship, but when she goes to her mum’s I think he just thinks it’s coke night! His personality changes, he’s angry and aggressive- shouts at me and then is depressed & suicidal. So hard to cope with – and hold down a responsible job. ????

[desperate-mother]

Thank you – I will definitely be in touch

[desperate-mother]

Thank you for your support – I have tried the ‘I’m worried about you’ approach – and I have tried not mentioning it again because he has tried to convince me he isn’t ‘using’ but I do mention it again – I just know in my heart he is. ???? he never has any money, which I know being self employed it’s feast or famine – but I gave him £70 this week to get some garage floor paint (I have just paid to have a garage erected at his house) but he hasn’t bought the paint and hasn’t got the money! I just know. It breaks my heart.

[desperate-mother]

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. The relationship with my son has now become far worse since my first post only a couple of days ago.

He is denying he takes coke at all and as in the past – this has made me question my suspicion – but in my heart – I know. The way he is just fits with cocaine use – perfectly normal and a pleasant person- then abusive, depressed, suicidal, sniffing, and broke! He has some debts – but none that couldn’t be managed. He is self employed, I don’t think he would manage being employed- but he frequently has issues with his customers. He has now blamed me for his depression/ mental health, saying it’s the way I brought him up. Yesterday he sent me a text over all this (in response to me WhatsApping Louise Clarke’s YouTube video to him – and has said I’m dead to him now, he never wants to hear from me again and has deleted me from his phone. Also saying I won’t see my granddaughter again either.

It does make me question myself, how I brought him up (very well I thought). He’s an only child so I don’t have anyone else I can say I did a good job with! I know I’m not perfect – but I did try and he had a better upbringing than a lot of people. Rather sad for mother’s day today. ????

[desperate-mother]

Thank you so much for responding. Yes it has helped a lot.

He does have depression and has said he is suicidal – and now I know why. I hadn’t associated alcohol with using coke – but i can see that now. I did try speaking to him yesterday but ended up him walking off again telling me I had no idea and what an awful I was suggesting he does drugs! So – won’t be speaking to me again for a while!!

Could I just ask you a question. When I have suspected he has used coke, and more so this last time, his eyes go sunken and sore looking – he has tried to pass this off as depression and crying – is that how your eyes go? And rather than enlarged pupils they’re small like pin holes.

Thank you so much for responding.

[Author]

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