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It’s ok I helped mark Miller out. Ive posted his details on a few other sites so he will get plenty of contact….maybe not what he wants but his life will become somewhat more ….let’s say interesting! Stupid boy, good luck coz u gonna need it!
Bit desperate of you to be honest. Must be failing miserably in life
Well coming from someone in your shoes you absolutely need to get custody. Her sole purpose in the short term is going to be maintaining this habit. She can’t sort herself out unless she admits a problem and most definately can’t do it without intervention from professionals. From your point of view your responsibility is your son. She can only be responsible for herself right now. You have to sell the idea it’s best for your son and her if he’s at home. That her mum won’t figure it put if he stays with you etc.
I know exactly how you feel, I have 3 kids and an addict husband. I’ve just had to remove an entire overdraft to stop it from ending up spent and now having to do various weird things to safeguard property, vehicles and possessions. It’s madness. It never stops. I just do what I have to to keep family together and life as normal as possible. I try to keep family life and his antics separate so that family life goes on regardless and if he does silly stuff it doesn’t affect us too much. I call it damage limiting. You having your son limits damage to all of you, you can care for and distract him while his mum either gets help or self destruct. Either way he won’t be as affected than if he was watching it all unfold first hand.
Hope this helps
You need custody of your son. She cannot provide for him while she has an addiction and an inability to get him to school. Do whatever you need to do to make this happen
Just seen this. You want the truth from someone who has been there? Leave, take your kids and leave. Do not stay. You will get help financially in benefits and emotional support from women’s aid who are amazing.
He is not worth this, and if you stay you end up worse off. Social services WILL get involved and you will be forced to choose him or them. Get out while you can. I’d you need any info or support just let me know. Please stay safe x
That’s my life in a nutshell too. Everything bad is almost forgotten out of desperation to have a normal happy family. It’s normal to feel like that. We didn’t choose this so why should we be the ones to let go. I totally understand how you feel. I try and get on here as much as I can so if you need an ear just let me know. Shame we can’t swap numbers, support each other.
I’m in the same situation but I am still with him. I did leave and come back but that didn’t work, I caved in. Now it’s still the same although maybe with him using less. I’m raising a baby singlehanded and have 2 older kids.
The only one who will have to make sacrifices will be you. I had to join finances and put trust I don’t have in a person who is only interested in drugs. And the withdrawals are awful. And he is my soul mate so I like you can’t face life without him.
Hope this insight helps, sorry it’s brief as I don’t get much time to type or check in on here.
Sounds like a stick or twist situation and only you can make the decision based on what you want out of it.
Please do, take it from someone who is currently watching their partner choose crack over their family. I also used to use coke but stopped a couple of years ago. I still have urges but I manage to talk myself out of it. I think of the awful feeling of disappointment, no sleep, lost time with my kids and the come down all at a cost financially and with family. Like Danman said, get help.
One thing I have learnt is they are very good at lying and very good at manipulating. He will make you believe the sky is green and the grass is blue to hide his habit. Let it go and keep your eye on his behaviour etc.
I really couldn’t be assed doing all that again if I’m honest, I can’t even bring myself to drink much – alcohol leads to other idiotic behaviour and I know it’s not what I want. Dont get me wrong i have great memories from my party days, but I’d rather be clear headed and still have money in my pocket the next day and be able to have a good time with my kids. I’ve told myself I’ve grown out of stupid stuff!! I’ve not done stupid stuff for nearly 3 years now and I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. I still get the odd impulse but I deal with it. Life’s for living but not for playing Russian roulette with. Kids come first all day long and no way am I going to take risks that affect them.
Georgia I agree, it would be good to have a local group but I’m struggling to find one to be honest. This forum is the closest thing I can find to any support. The northwest has a terrible drug problem but hardly any support for families/partners.
Hi,
Have you thought about asking your gp to refer you to pain therapy?
You are in actual pain so it wouldn’t be beneficial for you to not have pain relief however codeine is not a viable long term pain relief because of the addiction (your liver creates morphine from the codeine) so you would need specialist pain therapy to find something more suitable.
This is absolutely something that can be resolved, you just need access to the right help. Speak to your gp, they would (should) never dismiss your pain or your fears and wouldn’t leave you with no pain relief at all. Hope you get this sorted out.
No not called Becky. But I’m guessing the 83 in your username is your birth year? If so I’m the same age as you.
Feels a lot better knowing others are actually quite local to be fair. I get fed up feeling like I’m dealing with all this on my own so it comforting. My brother is no help, and the one mate who knows has her own problems to deal with.
Yep same circle as me, it’s so disheartening when you have 3/4 weeks of no using and then just when you think it’s all good it rears its head again.
I don’t get angry at him, I noticed it made him stay out longer and use more so now I tend to back off again until he wants to try quitting. It’s stupid really but he will realise I’m there when he needs to quit for good. Dont get me wrong it’s hard and I feel like a mug half the time but I know it’s an illness so I gotta stand by him. If I don’t there’s no one else who would. I suppose I keep him functioning.
Nice to speak to others in the same boat ????
Astley Bridge, near old Brierfield pub
U?