It’s the hardest thing loving an alcoholic, my husband has been been going through his on and off for 7 years now. He can be really lovely and then just turn into someone that can’t be reasoned with. I now can’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth which is no basis for a healthy relationship. I know myself how hard it is to walk away but I think it may be the last option. My son has witnessed all sorts and the guilt eats me up every day so I understand totally how you feel. My thoughts are with you