[Frahar]

Literally soon as i posted this he has sent a pic of a river saying he’s going to jump, I begged and pleaded with him to tell me where abouts he is but he just kept saying sorry then said he’s turning his phone off I’ve been out looking but there is a massive event going on where we live and there’s literally hundreds of people everywhere I know if i call the police or ambulance and send them to his address he will be livid if he’s ok and they turn up. I don’t know any of his friends phone numbers to help find him. I’m praying he’s just gone to sleep and not turned his phone back on I’m even hoping its a way to get me to worry anything, I’m praying for anything but the worst. The amount of people about I’m sure someone would see if he’s jumped in (he can’t swim) i just keep checking my WhatsApp hoping my msgs go blue I’ll even take the nastiness at the moment as long as he’s ok. He was lovely when he was clean he really made an effort which was hard because my family wouldn’t talk to him i moved house to get us away from the person he was buying off and he was due to move back in we were really looking forward to our fresh start. He has been hanging around with a mate that is addicted usually i was with him but i went away for a weekend and had a bad anxiety attack and wanted him to pick me up (he’s disqualified) usually I wouldn’t be so stupid but i was so desperate to go home i wasn’t thinking straight we ended up rowing and i think he was around the mate and just thought sod her and went for it, i knew soon as i came home he had been on a binge because he was so horrible i feel like its my fault if i didn’t argue he wouldn’t be like this again if i had just stayed at home. He’s really depressed because he misses his child that his ex has banned him from seeing and at some point he saw the child and they ran away from him.

 

Sorry know I’m rambling just really worried atm

[Frahar]

Thank you for replying

Wish he knew how much I love him, it really doesn’t seem like it atm, I contacted him today to see if he was OK and basically got told to f off he has told me tonight not to contact him until its time for a divorce in October I’ve been blocked from contacting him on everything. I actually feel devastated my mental health is at an all time low I’ve recently been put on medication to sleep and to cope with my anxiety which is through the roof worrying about him and wondering what he is up to.

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