[dora97]

I am new to this site but have felt in turmoil for years on and off. I have had a relationship with my partner for 15 years who has manipulated me into thinking I am the monster who creates his anger – I am apparently the one who constantly criticises him and makes him feel inadequate. He almost makes stuff up that I have said and makes me question the type of person I am. Over the years he has be a very nasty individual with anger issues, looking at me with disgust, sleeping a lot, isolating himself. He spends some time in France working and when I try and contact him weekends he doesn’t answer his phone. We also work together so sometimes trying to get hold of him to ask him a work question he will go mad stating ‘why are you calling me continuously or ranting about something else. Other times he can be sweet as pie and I have come to the conclusion that he is nice when he is drinking alcohol and taking cocaine. Any other time he is incredibly difficult. He has said to me in the past taking substances is the only way he can express himself positively. He tends to forget that when he isn’t taking anything he becomes this nasty aggressive condescending individual. Recent argument – he is going back to work in France and I told him not to rush back. I am sick of blaming myself for his addiction. I have tried to be nice and give support but he isn’t going to change. He has been doing it since and before I met him and will continue to do it. I have had enough of the banging crashing, emotional aggression or lack of emotion and condescending nature so time to think of myself for a change. I can relate to most points that people have stated here and only wish there was a quick fix – not likely!!

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