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I start volunteering at cgl in two weeks helping others. I want to get qualified in helping others like myself. Gonna push towards a social worker degree in the long run

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Hi starfish, I’m 1 year 1 week and a few days.

I used too have near enough a teenth a day at one point 1.7g (Was in a good job)

I have a post on how I stopped it’s called where do I start.

Routine. Hard work. Persistence. A good diet. Going gym.

All of the above to be fair. My wife left and I was locked up I said no more… I come down in a prison cell and I had moved myself into a hotel away from everyone for atleast 9 weeks of say.

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It much be such a horrible feeling and I feel for you I really do. Hate seeing families tore apart but sometimes leaving makes people see clearly.

Do you honestly in your heart believ he will change? If not you are left with no option. You can’t live unhappy forever and things do get easier but it’s that initial taking action. Wish I knew what to suggest to help you…

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Read this post please.

When Someone You Love has an Addiction

Take time it’s long winded but stick with it tell me what you think

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No I’m not saying it’s you at all. Addicts blame everyone else except themselves and as long as they are getting there own way they will continue to do so. Enabling can be anything from letting them continue “letting them live in the same house” giving them money ”

The way the mind works or mind did was that I had to see no benefit of using cocaine anymore so even though cocaine made me feel better when I used it was destroying everything around me and I didn’t care or see it till it was too late.

It steals everything and took me a long time to get where I am. If he’s saying he’s off drugs then drug test him. If he fails he will blame the test and say he’s not but he will do anything to keep things as they are.

My advice is start with a random test don’t tell him your gonna do it just say do a urine test for me and watch him do it. Will give you alot of answers. Chemists sell them.

I’d also advise looking up charities and learn about the drug to understand it better.

Don’t ever feel you aren’t good enough because that’s what it makes people be like to continue there life of using and

will do whateverr it takes to continue using it. Whether that be lie, cheat, manipulate or steal

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I’m so sorry to read this. Brings back memories of my actions in the past and the breakdown of what was my old marriage.

I’m 12 months clean tomorrow. Maybe I wasn’t willing to change for my ex god knows. We rarely talk now I just go pick the kids up when am supposed too and that’s that.

Everything you both said reasonanted with my old behaviour and it took my ex wife to leave me for good for me to get clean. Thankyou for sharing your stories and I hope and wish you find a solution but it’s never easy. It’s more of a mental battle and breaking the addiction cycle which isn’t easy at all because it’s the mental addiction that keeps you hooked.. the depression the anxiety etc but once you stop that dissipates after 8-10 weeks…

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Sometimes it is yes. I’m still tarred with that brush of being a drug user and having abusive treats. Which they was mentally I guess…

The hardest bit was forgiving and letting go. Also forgiving myself especially while she hasn’t so it took a bit longer but then you accept some things can’t be changed. That’s as the hard bit and for her to hate me like she feels she has too she has to still tar me with that brush… She admitted that at court. In the end i got what I wanted and things are working for the kids now which is good but we barely speak.

I had to get a child arrangement order and court went well especially when I could prove I was clean.

I’m actually starting a social worker course in September and maybe I’ll be help people like myself and give something back.

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Hi Red,

What a predicament you are definitely in…

Such horrible timing as well. Best thing you can do is focus on you and the baby and ignore his behaviours till after the baby is here. You don’t want to be stressing yourself out and he’s also not going to change in such little time.

The good news from this is you know when he’s doing it! You know he’s actually doing it and you know he is going to come back as well. But don’t condone his behaviour and tell him when the baby is here you are going to address it all..

Take that for now but when the baby is here you can decide what you want.

Addiction is awful.

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So I’m in the run up to my big landmark. Was 11 months clean last week. Going out for a meal next month at 12 months clean

The closest people too me my gf and my family and a few close friends to celebrate

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See I was sort of in the same situation but I was the user.

I’m 11 month clean and I’m going through divorce.

From her point of view her words “I will always resent you and see you as this person who used to lie and steal and take money.

It’s hard to move past once you start seeing someone like this. I understand why she can’t change her opinion and being the user back then it’s hard to take now as I’m back to that person she used to love before drugs. This also plays a part because I’ve got a new gf and moved on and she doesn’t get to have me now.

I’d suggest councilling but at the same time if he’s not been abstained that long don’t take your eye off the ball because he may do it again when he feels your guard is down. Just the mind of an addict

Sorry for being brutal and I hope you find a solution

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Come down depression that it is very common. Also it’s part of the cocaine cycle.

You use then feel guilt then feel depressed then use again to feel “good”

It’s the cycle that needs breaking unfortunately

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Ermm I don’t find it intrusive I’m an open book.

I’ve found I’ve been back how I used to be and everything is normal after the first few months

When I first stopped I can’t tell you how I was feeling as my anxiety and emotions were all over the place.

My feelings now are :-

Im not depressed in the slightest

My life’s alot better

I can make clear decisions

I can see who is positive in my life

I can see bad people and avoid them as well

My anxiety has almost gone although with court I had a back week with anxiety

I sleep now. Not stayed up all night in over 10 months (since I basically stopped using)

I feel better physically (I do train though)

I look better I’m nearly 12.7 stone where as I was 9 stone I think 10 months back

What I do remember is when I used to use I used to get the urge to cheat and gamble

I won’t even gamble now I think in ten months only thing I’ve done is buy about 4 scratchcards but I’m careful with that as well. I see my friends placing football bets but I self excluded myself. Won’t even place a bet on a horse.

If you are stopping drugs stop the gambling as well

I used to excess gamble when I was high it was infactuating

Sorry to hear about your partner I hope he can get off it because it’s not easy. Coke is everywhere and the only way to stop is avoid it and have resilience to say no and it’s not just a battle at first but a battle forever. The cravings do disappear it’s just a matter of avoiding and knowing to say no.

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Thankyou for the comments.

No what made me stop was myself. My wife left I had nothing left. It took me to lose everything to actually say enough is enough.

I started with routine and diet. Multi vitamins every morning and started exercising going on runs. I changed my friends my lifestyle and everything around me.

.there’s a post called where do I start on these forums it’s got my whole progress from day 14 up till now. All I know is I’ll never go back. Everything’s better in my life and I certainly wouldn’t jeopardize that.

Got a lovely new partner who’s really supportive and just had to fight for my kids in court as well to get access which I won. Too much to lose and it can be lost by me shoving crap up my nose so that’s a no no. It’s a life choice

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10 months and a few weeks clean.

After a long winding court battle for my children and fighting social services to prove I was clean.

Got the result I wanted

Kids every other weekend shared birthdays Christmas etc.

Told to continue my relapse prevention course

My ex changed her mind and said she knew I was clean after denying it for months. I offered a hair strand and had references from gps mental health workers and drug clinic to say I’m fully clean.

Life’s going well. My partner who knows about everything is fully supportive.

Just an update. Hope everyone is keeping well.

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