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your advice to our friend, it serves me so much that it thrills me. I am no longer with him, but inside me, I would like to not be alone receiving his crumbs. But I am thrilled to read your sentences, you are a very strong person, thank you for indirectly helping me here in Brazil. I cheer a lot for our friend, David, you are very special, 1 day at a time go like me, fighting for the abstinence of this drug, which is this broken relationship, they just want dopamine, and they use idealization, with the drug, and we’ll get rid of idealizing them too.
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Our happiness is where our peace is, and is not with them.
and some of us who get involved with addicts feel tension as a form of attention and distraction from our own pain. We will not save them, who do not want this, or as has already been said, they would not be using drugs, would they? I heard from a psychoanalyst, why I felt alive in tension, and in tranquility I felt lost. My friend, look at your pain, and use those efforts that I would put into it, put in yourself. Do you know why? why she would never do that for you! and you know this. It is a one-way relationship. And she is related to the drug, and you are with the rest of her. I spent this little time, 5-6 months, go out while you are healthy and can meet someone nice. But be careful, so as not to try to be the savior of anyone else, we are not responsible for adults who do not want anything good for themselves. Be selfish, as this woman is too. Take care of yourself!
Our happiness is where our peace is, and is not with them.
and some of us who get involved with addicts feel tension as a form of attention and distraction from our own pain. We will not save them, who do not want this, or as has already been said, they would not be using drugs, would they? I heard from a psychoanalyst, why I felt alive in tension, and in tranquility I felt lost. My friend, look at your pain, and use those efforts that I would put into it, put in yourself. Do you know why? why she would never do that for you! and you know this. It is a one-way relationship. And she is related to the drug, and you are with the rest of her. I spent this little time, 5-6 months, go out while you are healthy and can meet someone nice. But be careful, so as not to try to be the savior of anyone else, we are not responsible for adults who do not want anything good for themselves. Be selfish, as this woman is too. Take care of yourself!
Yes, I researched assiduously, and talked to professionals in the field, they have several adverse psychological situations, the drug is the escape valve. In my case, he has a conduct disorder, killed an animal with a friend at the age of 13, the family neglected love and only had and has money to offer. You need to understand that the more you know about their disease, the more you will see how manipulative they are, especially the good parts, read the cases here, how terrible they are, there is a husband sniffing cocaine in the car with his young son in the back!
I was raised by a narcissistic mother, so I try to hold on to the crumb of attention and love, and they like attention, and being victims (of themselves, in fact). You need to understand its mechanism of weakness, to avoid the drug, to avoid it. It’s about you, take your eyes off her for about 10 minutes, write down who you are, and who you want by your side! Don’t go through the bar door if you are an alcoholic. Understood? Apply this knowing your weakness for her, you are not her savior, and you will get lost in the process of your life by someone who wants to die on the drug.
There is a study that says that even without the drug the disorder remains in them, it is a neurological disorder, where the brain, parts of it, does not work well with empathy, sense of judgment, and feelings. Be careful, make no mistake, when they are out of drugs, they come back to her worse than before.
About the good times, I also had good times, but if you really look, it’s like 10% good and 90% bad, but yours and my reward mechanism in the brain, inverts and thinks the good times were 90% and the bad 10%, working the same way they do with cocaine: they use something that kills, that damages the brain, micro lesions with each use, liver, heart, risk of stroke, heart attack, and the hours of pleasure for them are 90% good, and the risks are 10%
When in fact, the risks are 90% and the amount of pleasure in such a short time is 10%, there is more side effect, than the pleasure it causes. But the accubens core, only makes them feel that it is very worthwhile. They have to have a huge problem, the bottom of the pit, as many have mentioned here, to improve. And a lot of willpower !!! Think, you only have one life, it’s killing hers, do you want to go along?
“But my kindness is no longer weakness.
So just protect yourself, and have respect for yourself, because an addict damn sure won’t have any respect for you. She’s choosing drugs over you.”
these words were the best I could hear, the whole text! even though it is not for me, but for our friend, I thank you because it was for me, yes. They have no empathy, and don’t pretend to have it. In the 5 months with this boy, addicted to cocaine, it was just manipulation, she is right! they talk about getting out of it sometimes, but it’s about false moralism. I discovered yesterday that because of his actions since he was a teenager, from what he told me, that he has antisocial disorder, that is, he is a beautiful socio** / psyc** manipulator, and because he does not feel pleasure in a conventional way in the brain, they adapt empathy, adapt reactions by mirroring and go to cocaine precisely because of the immediate and short-term pleasure they do not know how to have. I fell into the conversation that he wanted to leave, he doesn’t want to and he won’t. Think about what she said above, that it hurt me too, in those cases they want nothing more than pleasure and drugs! In this addiction to this woman, she became your drug and you need to understand this abstinence and get out of addiction, facing all the bad actions of her and her children, studying the drug and their handling cycles, that’s what I did, I do yet. You’ve already left 7 years of your life, don’t spend another year. He left me with 5, 6 months, last month, because I was no longer a supply, better this way, they use us, there is no empathy !! it hurts me, but i’m in this abstinence too. And I cheer for you, as for us all here. Get off that drug, stop smelling “her”. You, like me, need a woman and a sober man, who gives us everything we deserve and not crumbs of dust. I suffer for you and me, but go ahead even hurting, out of it, she loves the drug, they have disorders, that’s why they went to the drug. Please send news.
“But my kindness is no longer weakness.
So just protect yourself, and have respect for yourself, because an addict damn sure won’t have any respect for you. She’s choosing drugs over you.”
these words were the best I could hear, the whole text! even though it is not for me, but for our friend, I thank you because it was for me, yes. They have no empathy, and don’t pretend to have it. In the 5 months with this boy, addicted to cocaine, it was just manipulation, she is right! they talk about getting out of it sometimes, but it’s about false moralism. I discovered yesterday that because of his actions since he was a teenager, from what he told me, that he has antisocial disorder, that is, he is a beautiful sociopathic / psychopathic manipulator, and because he does not feel pleasure in a conventional way in the brain, they adapt empathy, adapt reactions by mirroring and go to cocaine precisely because of the immediate and short-term pleasure they do not know how to have. I fell into the conversation that he wanted to leave, he doesn’t want to and he won’t. Think about what she said above, that it hurt me too, in those cases they want nothing more than pleasure and drugs! In this addiction to this woman, she became your drug and you need to understand this abstinence and get out of addiction, facing all the bad actions of her and her children, studying the drug and their handling cycles, that’s what I did, I do yet. You’ve already left 7 years of your life, don’t spend another year. He left me with 5, 6 months, last month, because I was no longer a supply, better this way, they use us, there is no empathy !! it hurts me, but i’m in this abstinence too. And I cheer for you, as for us all here. Get off that drug, stop smelling “her”. You, like me, need a woman and a sober man, who gives us everything we deserve and not crumbs of dust. I suffer for you and me, but go ahead even hurting, out of it, she loves the drug, they have disorders, that’s why they went to the drug. Please send news.
Hello,
How you doing, please,… I’m not gonna say: are you ok? Because I know that all the pain for being so careful with someone that doesn’t give value, will knock the door of our hearts and minds…. that’s the bad part for me, my mind…
What we create is a idealization about what could be with our help and love. But we were loving us less, maybe because we didn’t receive this love before. I know this is very tough, but we have to give this love to ourselves first.
Please, tell me … be strong!
She still doesn’t give value, and blame you for.. you just tried to help her and her kids, you were better than she deserved, because anyone would stay so long being so mistreated. They have the cocaina and other drugs as their life, cocaine remove empathy, judgment sense, and most addictive are narcissist, because they want pleasure that a human being can’t give in a way that cocaine do. I read so much about nucleus accubem..a brain part, that I was going crazy, trying to know the addiction to handle with the addicted. Was lost of time to help him, but this helped me to see that they only care about themselves.. . Even more if they don’t want help and to get out first place. Many people here that have drug issues and they are trying to make huge efforts that I think admirable! But our savior behavior problem glue us on thoughts about them, to solve their lives, because we don’t want to look to ourselves and our suffering to not find someone better, then… going after their dilemmas, distract us from ourselves and our own pain. Is one day after another… self value. Once here, I read something so painful (many things but..), if you have no kids with them (your own), RUN LIKE THE WIND… I don’t remember who wrote this, but in portuguese, is so tough to think about that… RUN LIKE THE WIND, before you get attached, that you get involved…. before!!! In 5 months I’m broken ???? and you with 7… more than me. And I suffer with you and I hope you get better each day my unknown friend.
Have faith about yourself because you will make it, for being here is already a great thing!
your story moved me too much, it made me want to hug you. I felt your pain. A great reference for children, but we can only help anyone who wants to! unfortunately cocaine affects empathy, sense of judgment etc, I studied so hard, to understand this guy that I was with for 5 months. You did more than she deserved, and the person’s next comment is very real, they don’t care. Knowing someone who values you, I also hope you meet someone nice. It’s never easy to leave, I stayed a lot less time and still think about him, sometimes I write to him, but he has more rewards on drugs. He wanted weekends for that, to use, to be terrible the next day. I read on his cell phone, messages for prostitutes from websites, there was no continuity in the conversation, but whoever triggers to negotiate, someday already scheduled live, I believe! He gave me two STDs, I helped and paid for our treatments, he said it was many months before we met a girl he liked (he could be a prostitute on the site). I suffered, I was very patient, and nothing helped him stay with me, I insisted, he bit my arm once drunk. I forgave him. 5 intense months … I imagine the reality of your 7 years. Cocaine won, my friend, let’s be strong both of us. Make every investment you made for her, for yourself! I did like you, a lot, and they will never appreciate it. Spend it with yourself, fix the house for yourself. You deserve too much!
until I read your testimony, I thought I couldn’t meet a good, honest, selfless and dedicated man. But there is hope of meeting one here in Brazil then. May God help you in what you have done that is within your reach, we can only help those who want to be helped. And we have the frustration of being rejected, having been good. I liked 5 months of someone addicted to cocaine, he just says he wants to leave but does nothing about it. I gave advice, and he walked away from me, because he said we were going to get hurt. I’m sad, but I understand you. I bought medicine for him, paid for our dinners, but they are manipulators because the drug is more attractive than any human being who wants to help them. Listen to the colleague above, meet someone who values your every action, you deserve someone like yourself, dedicated. The drug leaves the person ungrateful, selfish, without empathy. Strength to you.
I have been reading your publication for a long time. I am impacted because you have a long-standing relationship and more tangible and continuous experiences. I was almost 5 months with a cocaine addict, he abuses alcohol too. I met him on the Internet and we engaged something daily and intense. I started to like him too much, and he told me that he had been using cocaine for 5 years, then 7 years, not even he knows right. I think it must be about 10 years of use. He just doesn’t sell the things in the house that his parents let him live here, because they give him an allowance, but he’s always asking his sister for more. I tried to help, and I saw that with you it is a cycle! he goes to the doctor and takes controlled medications, but he doesn’t do therapy and just claims he needs to stop, but it’s a lie, right? He gave me an STD and I paid the costs, I charged him and he gave me the money back. I try to make him aware of the risk that other viruses passed through the immune window, and papilloma too. He drank too much one day with a brother, I had never seen him drink, more than 20 bottles, he bit my arm hard and taking him home, I saw on his cell phone, writing to the dealer, that I wasn’t going to deliver (because I was with him). He was going to use cocaine after using a lot of alcohol, a very risky reaction to cocaine. It has been 5 days since this happened, and I am also reading your report, to convince me that what you say is real. I never saw him high on cocaine, just beer that night and it was horrible. I didn’t see that dynamic of you in it and it shakes me, because it doesn’t seem like something that fits him. But it’s real, right? because you live with someone like that, it’s been a dynamic for years. I believe that for having an allowance, and still not paying the bills, to use more drugs, that he still does not sell, and does not stay on the street.
can you explain to me please, how was the use? did you use a line or how many in a night, after buying? and then how you fell after. I’m with a boy who uses it says 7 years, I think even more. I wanted to understand what happens to him when he uses, and after. He was after cocaine this Saturday night after 2 weeks without her. He is taking Amato and Desve, to try to stop, but because the partner bought it, he is fooling himself that he needs to stop. He has access to money, uses an allowance that his father sends and doesn’t know anything. His nose makes a bad noise when sleeping, I already warned him, his body has spasms sleeping, he feels very hot, very thirsty, and always tired when at my house. I never saw him using it. One day he slept on the couch, his brain shut down after a week’s use, and he didn’t opened the company…… Partner fought a lot and he went after a doctor and medicine. Not because he wanted to. He just speak tha he need to stop, … needs to stop. Make a speech.
I just told the boy that I’ve known for months, that I have a competitor, and I know I can’t fight her, she gives him things that I can’t give. But she humiliates him and I don’t do that part. How complicated it is to know that they say they want to get out of it, leave it, even taking medicines that the doctor has given to addiction, but I believe that they deceive themselves or she can be so strong that I already know she is. They like it, so they say they want to stop but it’s not true. I don’t know how far I will take this guy, he went out Saturday night to get drugs, and he had been without coca for almost 2 weeks, and we could be together having a good time. They are really wonderful, loving, kind, and would be even better without it. I think about getting out of it, because I’m already suffering too, and we’re not even boyfriends, because he already said that it would hurt me.
Your story completely moved me, I was out of breath in a moment, I opened my mouth in surprise. I know and like a person who uses cocaine, he is very special, caring, loving, extremely polite as I have never met. I don’t want it in a situation like this, of the many that I read here. I felt an appreciation for your life, for your strength, your desire to live after all this. You were born again! and you will win this, strength is what I want from my heart. I also wish for strength for this special, extremely docile man, the most polite man I have ever met, this someone who made me feel good about being myself in my home. Too bad that many need pain, suffering to learn, including me, who would like to take this addiction out of you two with your hands. Strength friend, you are a great survivor, I wish you well and be well!
PS.I would also kill cocaine if it were a person, I hate it deeply, for stealing so precious people from us.