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It really is a horrible situation. I think you are doing the right thing getting the kids away.
If youre still in the house with him then use this time wisely. Im 15 months into the divorce process. Try and find as much evidence as possible. Photo copy all essential documents, house deeds, bank statements, pension plans, birth and marriage certificates. Try and find anything that shows how much he’s spent on drugs. If you can prove you were financially disadvantaged due to his spending then you can fight for more in the divorce. Take photos of any evidence of alcohol or drug use.
I know that all sounds horrible, but I wish someone had told me this 2 years ago. The custody of my kids is all through court. My (ex) husband still denies the extent of his drug use, even though the drug tests prove he’s a heavy user.
I wouldn’t try and discuss anything with your husband when he’s under the influence. During lucid times try and discuss how much you would like in financial (child) support. If he agrees to a set sum then your lawyer can draw up the paperwork to make it legal.
You are absolutely not to blame for his problems. Nothing you do will make him better or worse. That’s all on him.
Atm my ex sees the kids with supervision but the kids sometimes don’t want to go. His mum or sister supervises but they arent nice to me. We’ve fallen out too many times, all about his drug use.
I’m very tempted to stop contact altogether but I’m terrified he’ll spiral and get worse. But then maybe that’s what he needs to hit rock bottom and seek help.
Hi, I’m new to the forum. I could have written your post myself. 14 years, 3 kids. My husbands behaviour sounds the exact same. He was also staying at a “friend’s” which turned out to be a female coworker.
How old are your children? How much do they understand. Did you get full custody to move?
My kids are 10, 8 & 4. Too young to understand. I really worry about how their fathers behaviour will effect them.
I wish I could move away too.
As Debc says above, the only thing we can do is look after overselves and our kids. Until our husbands can admit their addiction, then there’s very little we can do. ????