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You only get one life don’t let it be ruined any longer xx
Take one day at a time and even if you only sort one problem a day it’s a step forward
You will go through a grieving process with many unanswered questions that seem so big now
I can honestly say try and let it go because you will never get the truth and it will just stop you moving forward
Do whatever you have to to get through and don’t
Life is so very short do not waste another today
Change is a good thing
Don’t be frightened everything has a way of working itself out
Be strong x
You are letting out all your despair
Don’t spend the rest of your life in a guessing game
You will heal
There will be times of great sadness, tears and grief as you Let it all go and learn to live again
learn to love life and yourself again
I do hope that things are improving for you?
How are you doing ?
It’s a fight you will not win
The drugs will win every time
You will destroy yourself trying to save them and realise you are wasting your time and life on someone who is playing multiple games to keep their addiction alive
Be strong and look after yourself x
My ex is still on the psych ward he asks continually for crack or a small wrap of heroin to smoke to take the edge off
It’s who he became – who he was
A crackhead
Sounds horrible but it was part of his life for 20 years that’s a massive thing to leave behind
It rewires the brain
This was a man who had his own company a family and once a very bright future
But if he was released the first thing he would do is score
It’s taken a long year of grieving to reach a point where he no longer controls my emotions
Having him out of my life is the best thing that ever happened to me
He lied
He manipulated
He cheated (multiple times)
He almost destroyed me
This was the man who told me I was the love of his life
You need distance and time to be free of them and move on
It’s co dependency and trauma attachment
It’s so hard to separate from someone who you have given so much to and to realise they don’t appreciate it at all – you end up trying to prove yourself again and again
Trying to validate it all
I promise you that you will eventually Get to the other side
Don’t beat yourself up you are exhausted and that makes everything seem so much worse
Accept that you will feel absolutely broken and helpless and sad (maybe bordering Hysterical) beyond belief – that’s all a normal part of the grieving process – it is horrendous
You don’t have to end things on a bad Note
Honesty has been missing in the relationship but maybe now you have nothing to lose you can speak truthfully to get closure
There is no right or wrong way to deal with it just so what you need to do
Clarity will come with time and what is now so painful will pass
Give yourself time x
I
Forgive yourself and let go
You have nothing to be ashamed of you have been honest and given love to someone who has abused it beyond all limits
You feel broken because you are mentally and physically exhausted but day by day it will get easier
Some days will feel just too hard (just do what you need to do to get through them) but they will fade as your self confidence and strength comes back
Keep moving forward
He will not change
He will let you carry his weight without a care for your feelings as long as you let him
There is life without him and you will look back and realise you are right it’s a relationship based on lies, manipulation with no truth
Let yourself be free of it all and live again – not having to lie and cover up all the time feels so good
You deserve to be happy
And you will be once you get through this part which is horrendous the grief can be overwhelming and you feel it will never end and you will never get over it – but you will – eventually – just try to stay strong and not go back
Being on your own is less lonely than being in a one sided relationship trying to work out what is lies or truth and left in limbo when they disappear for days up to all sorts and we are left worrying when they don’t give us a second thought
You are not alone – there are so many of us going through the same awful torture because that’s what it is – and a good relationship is not that – it’s full of love trust and honesty and you don’t find that stuck in the past
Don’t be afraid to tell your family the truth it will help draw a final line underneath it all
It’s done and they want better for you and you telling them means there is no going back
It will all pass and everything will change for the better
You took the first step and walked away – now keep going
X
Hello and I am so sad to see that you are still going through so much it breaks my heart
I feel every word you are saying
I know it’s not easy but I think sometimes we just have to let it go to set ourselves free
Even though I did find out quite a lot I know there is so much more that I don’t know and I now realise I don’t want to know because it damages you it changes who you are
It takes a long time to heal
By staying angry you are still trapped in his manipulation it’s still all about him
You will get past this
He will not change but will let you take his weight a along as you let him and do not expect any thanks for your efforts – it will just get thrown back in your face and turned against you
Having given so much to someone who says they love you but abuses your trust again and again – it destroys you
You said a kick in the teeth – I think it’s more like a sledgehammer to your soul
You will regain your strength and yourself
Just take your time
Remember an addict usually attaches themselves to a good person who is a strong anchor
Let him go and let yourself live again
I hope things are getting better for you?
Today is the first time In months where I have felt really sad about the past and all that happened
But it is that now the past
All the promises we made to each other were based on lies he told and the person he manufactured himself to be
it’s so hard to accept that your whole relationship was based on lies and how blind love can make you
Anyway tomorrow is another day and will be a better one
I don’t feel lonely or miss the chaos he created; just the man I thought he was – so I have to just remind myself that there is no time to waste on something that I never truly had
You know what I realise
It’s always about them and what they need and those who put so much into helping them get little recognition
We are left broken
What we must remember is we don’t have anything to prove
You know the truth in your heart
They will abuse you a along as you let them
I wish you strength x
I am so sorry you are in so much pain
I hope you are putting some distance to him now
I can tell you that he will never tell you the whole truth EVER
They have two lives
Almost like a personality disorder
Which they probably do have as the brain chemistry becomes so altered
I have found out things from other people and by using his phone when he was crashed out and he would still get really angry and tell me it wasn’t true
People were just out to ruin our marriage making things up
That is was only about the drugs
There was no cheating
He would never ever do that to me
So my brain was in total conflict I knew deep down he was lying but I so wanted to believe him
But there is no smoke without fire
And because my ex is on a psych ward he sometimes thinks he is talking to someone else and the things I have learned; I did suspect but as you say they damage you because you can’t believe this is your partner who has been leading this disgusting double life
I have even learned he has a secret child that was born just after his first daughter to a women he used to see behind then girlfriends back and they did crack and heroin together
He also used the drugs with his girlfriend when she was pregnant
Some morals ??
The coke world is like another dimension everyone knows everyone
Everyone’s best mates but scamming each other
the dealers scamming the addicts the addicts scamming each other it’s a total world of chaos
Coke heroin tramadol pregablin Valium Polydrug use to regulate their emotions and functioning
Sexual favours in exchange for drugs
Escorts – sex sites – internet hook ups –
It’s all normal to them
It’s just what happens
And as part of that – secrets are kept – because all their main priority is getting hold of drugs and keeping that going and when you are off it you are disinhibited and don’t care
The women/girls definitely offer BJ as a norm and they will have sex for drugs and cash
Many of us keep the Fassade of their life going so they look respectable and functioning
You have to step away to remember who you are and what your boundaries used to be – take out the drugs – you wouldn’t put up with any of it
Reclaim your strength and yourself and live life truthfully and happily
I would never have believed that my ex was the man I came to find they become master manipulators and their is no end or boundary to the lengths or depths they will go to
They tell you what you want To hear
Trust your intuition. – it is always right
Forgive yourself and let it all go