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Hope it resolves

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Emma, Glad you are having a better day I really am.

Today mine has been FaceTiming me from hospital he thinks he is in town; he said I walked here I can’t get home can you come and pick me up ….

Looking at the vulnerable man crying gets to me so badly

But then when I said I couldn’t come; he told me to F off so that helped!!

One of his so called brotherlings has started Calling me because he knows he is in hospital – saying he owes him £175 not how is he..

Emma just a quick one – you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to

Did yours ever ask you to do ‘it’ with him?

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Dan be the lucky one that makes it through

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I watched a film

“A Million little pieces”

I get that your partner hasn’t got trust in you I hope one day that changes

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He was the love of my life

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I watched a film recently

“A Million little pieces”

I thought it was a really good

I get that your partner hasn’t got trust in you I hope one day that changes

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Lonely – because I loved him with all my heart I have never connected with anyone so completely

Guilty – for walking away

Doubt – because would he eventually change if I stuck by him

But I know he won’t deep down

talking about it might be a trigger for you because I did speak to someone who said even the scoring was part of the process

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There is no happiness at the end of the chase and nothing can compare to having that someone in your life and being truly loved

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There is no happiness at the end of the chase and nothing can compare to having that someone in your life and being truly loved

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I remember at one point he did say to me “I can’t watch this” (on Tv) if it had drug use as it would start him off.

There is no happiness at the end of the chase and nothing can compare to having that someone in your life and being truly loved

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Also Emma

I think that because I was with him people assumed I was doing the same thing.

I guess with the lack of sleep, stress, weight loss from worry I began to look like I was using.

I do enjoy now going to sleep without the endless clattering about downstairs, the grind of the knife on the plate chopping the crack, the lighter firing, the TV controller getting dropped for the millionth time; the back door going and the car starting every three hours as he went off to town for another pick up, oh and then the alarm for me to get up for work as he lay dribbling into the sofa

No I do not miss it one bit!

Emma dig deep; you are hurt, but you made a decision based on what was happening to you. In time you will heal

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Emma, try to rise above it.

Part of it is the lack of closure and wanting to know things you will never know the truth about.

I bet like here in my village; half the people know what he is really up to, but will not talk about it because they feel for you. People here say to me “promise you will stay away from him now. we were so worried but did not know how to help you”

They can see what is going on, the late night tracks in and out, the addict health sticks out a mile.

people know violence and chaos is attached and they don’t want the comeback if they get involved; because let’s be honest it’s a very sticky web that’s so hard to shake off.

I absolutely hate all the darkness it brings

Mine is now in hospital he’s overdosed on a binge of Crack and Benzos (on top of the handfuls of pregablin, Valium and taramadol he takes daily)

He’s been detained so I have no idea what will happen next

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He is actually in hospital he had an overdose on crack and benzo s mixed with pregablin and tramadol

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I have horrific days missing him but now I realise it’s just an ideal of who I thought he was.

He got up to 200/300 a day On Crack. People hanging on and his ‘best mates’ when he got paid.

I can now use my card without an overdraft which had been maxed out for 3 years. The slide was so subtle so well manipulated, now I can clearly see what was going on

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The more I read; there seems to be the recurring pattern

Don’t beat yourself up for being strong

you had to take Steps to protect yourself and you tried to support him and had it thrown back at you.

Moving forward is hard but it will get easier hopefully

P.S I did have a little giggle at the end of one of your posts I think you will know which one!

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