Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
You are a good and loyal Person who deserves so much more
It takes time doesn’t it
But it does get better – so much better
Believe in yourself
You can spend potentially decades in this cycle of misery.
People make choices and they have consequences
You can’t change someone else Or there choices
You have I promise done the right thing.
Trust has been broken a long time ago.
Without trust there is nothing.
Your intuition is screaming at you
An addict will lie and manipulate you for as long as you let them.
They will tell you want you want to hear.
They become empowered as you fall for their lies and become broken – you become co dependent – exactly where they want you.
‘Turning point’ will keep it off his medical records I think and set him up with support
TBH as long as he is keeping his job, not getting arrested and not using around his children there are very little child protection issues
Social services can only step in if he uses when the children are in his ‘Care’
Just to go back to you asking him if he did heroin and he said no
When my husband got sectioned only then did I find out the real extent of his drug use
I knew he was using crack and tramadol and pregablin
But then I eventually discovered he was using heroin, ecstasy, Valium, benzos any tablets he could get his hands on and the actual amount was astounding
How he was walking around (and driving) is beyond me
But he swore on the kids lives that he had/would never ever touch heroin or any of the others – like it was totally disgusting and how could I think he would do that!
I really believed him but then his behaviour became so weird I am sure he has developed a personality disorder due to the combination of use
He broke my heart and my spirit
but life has to go on and we cannot give up and let it ruin all our lives
Every day is so precious so do not waste one more minute of it x
I am sending you strength to cope with the all that is ahead
I think though that you are there and turning the corner already
I am glad for you and I promise that life will restart and it will eventually just be full of good days and no more tears
Believe In Yourself ????
Every day is so precious so do not waste one more minute of it x
Sounds horrendous
Let your grandkids know you are there and love them and your door is always open
Step back
I know that is hard but it sounds like you have become the punchbag that’s not fair or right on any level
She is making choices and you are trying to take the blows of the consequences as mums do but she is hurting you deeply and it is obviously but ultimately not helping her or her addiction
A pattern has evolved
Sometimes by not reacting as expected it makes them stop and think
Be strong
You have to start protecting yourself and look at the situation long term
The kids will begin to think what mum does is normal and maybe need removing from the chaos before it’s too late and the pattern repeats or they witness tragedy
it is her decisions that are hurting and distorting everyone
Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and do the right thing
Wishing you strength
That’s so true even though we don’t know each other we have been brought the same heart breaking situations
Some people are not ready and they continue to look for answers that aren’t there
I have been on my knees with the weight of the acute stress of my husbands addiction
I forgot who I was and it has taken 8 months now to get to this point
I will never go back because I have changed
My mind now has peace
I will always be his friend from a big distance
I don’t think it’s good for you to hold bad feelings and you won’t find peace unless you let it all go
And that is the choice you have to make
To step off the merry go round and let them continue the ride on their own
But I don’t feel responsible for him anymore
We live separate lives and make our own choices
Funny how an addict will never ask how you are, how you feel, what you are doing, or your plans
They will ask for and expect; but not ‘give’
Life always revolves around them, their addiction and ultimately their misery
Which they will blame on you!
Just so you feel as bad as they do!
I wish you happiness and that will come
Read through posts on here it will really help you keep focus and make sense of what is happening
It’s like looking in the mirror and finally seeing things clearly
That Penny dropping moment
It’s hard to accept that you are essentially being used but I guess basically that’s what it is and it’s horrible and it’s so wrong
I know from experience and it is so hard to step away but I promise you it gets better and you will begin to see it for what it really is
You will have many tears and overwhelming grief but that will eventually turn to relief – that’s a great feeling when you reach that turning point and you will
For one you will get more sleep and you will be able to think more clearly
Then your emotions will settle because you won’t be on edge and the tied knots in your stomach will begin to relax as the worry disappears and you will start to relax
Your overall being will begin to heal and you will realise just how ill it has made you
Stress is a silent killer and you will realise how much you have been under as it has just become so normal to live under hyper stressed chaotic conditions
You say exactly what every partner feels – that you are the only one there for them and you feel responsible for them and that if you step away they will sink – that’s part of the addiction and manipulation
But they haven’t changed to protect the relationship or you and they won’t and that is gutting
You will ask yourself why wasn’t I enough
Why wasn’t what I was offering enough for you to stop
Why wasn’t I good enough
But it’s not you
It’s the addiction and it’s bigger than anything you can offer
And he will do anything to protect it
But it will change you and not for the better and there is no one looking out for you – only you
I promise you with time you WILL feel better
it takes time but you will realise you are lying to yourself because you are living a lie fed by lies
deceit and manipulation are the tools of an addict to protect their addiction and keep their enabler exactly where they want them
They will tell you what you want to hear
You have a gut instinct and it’s telling you that you are being lied to
You have already caught him out
I can see that you are reaching all these conclusions for yourself and I think you will be strong enough
Without trust there is nothing
Be true to yourself
Close the chapter and move on
Also you are probably completely correct about the needle marks
He could be doing heroin or speedballing the two
You have to consider that he may be sharing pipes and maybe even needles and putting you and your health at risk