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Completely understand where you are coming from, and feel for you as I too became the enemy as I think is the case in many addiction relationships. It’s the biggest kick in the teeth when all you have done is try and help them and they literally turn on you
It’s the hardest decision to walk away
It’s so bad at the end because you literally become strangers
So glad you are feeling better
It hasn’t been easy some days I couldn’t get out of bed
I now realise out whole relationship was built on lies and I thought we were soul mates
I get up now and cherish the freedom and simplicity of life; on an emotional and financial level.
Sometimes in the early days we would have to use the food bank because we were so broke (clearing his debt) and secretly he would be spending ‘secret cash’ on crack. I don’t know how he could look me in the eye.
You read about everyone’s relationships and hope yours will be the different one; the one who’s addict chooses you over crack but from what I am discovering that’s a real long shot
This may help it’s the best article I have read on addiction
This is a well written article on addiction that may help
This is a really excellent article on addiction it may help
When they do that disappearing all night trick at first you worry so much.
we all have different cut off points when we say enough is enough.
No more days to waste on these negative actions and feelings
I know exactly how you are feeling the inner loss and grief can be overwhelming
Your only enemy is the addiction.
You know you have been treated badly and were pushed to do the right thing for at the very least yourself.
We all know our partners were good people before addiction
If you stepped back into life together tomorrow what would the formula of the day be: Loving calm environment – where you were living as an equal?
It’s tough but reading posts on here will help you rationalise.
All storms pass.
You have completely done the right He has to make some decisions with some morality behind them.
The children don’t need to witness the cycle and the chaos of addiction and begin to think it is ‘normal’
You can still be independent and pick up your life again
They become so good at telling you what you want to hear
I was In also The dark about my husbands cocaine use.
The first part you write about his behaviour is exactly the same –
“He was missing work, sleeping all day, up all night, not eating.”
He twisted the truth accordingly
I thank God every day that I did not fall for his “everybody does, it go on try it”.
He tried to normalise it all the time. I guess then It would have been our addiction, to justify his own his own use