[exhaustedwife]

Once a week can definitely get you hooked, I think that’s how the addiction starts. Recreationally then leads on to more and more.

It’s so sad how it completely changes a person. There is a link on this thread called ‘hey Sigmund ‘ it’s really interesting to read xx

[exhaustedwife]

Once a week can definitely get you hooked, I think that’s how the addiction starts. Recreationally then leads on to more and more.

It’s so sad how it completely changes a person. There is a link on this thread called ‘hey Sigmund ‘ it’s really interesting to read xx

[exhaustedwife]

Hi Starfish1, it’s really sad. How cocaine can turn the most decent loyal human being into a lying manipulative paranoid person.

It literally destroys people and family and its everywhere. Normalised all too often.

There are so many helpful posts on here and lots of people in the same situation.

You are not alone so please reach out.

Xx

[exhaustedwife]

This is it! We have been apart since January and were getting on better to am extent. Its torn our family apart. He had a major breakdown a few weeks ago and now I feel like I need to be there. He hasn’t really got anyone else, living in his mums is unhealthy for him. I just wish we could turn our feelings off. Xxx

[exhaustedwife]

Im really struggling with my thoughts and feelings at the moment.

I love my husband and want him in my life but fear that will enable normality for him and thus fire his addiction ???? I don’t know what to do. I’m scared of being hurt let down again. Xx

[exhaustedwife]

My biggest advice is you have to tell someone, get yourself support and don’t face it alone. Quite often we feel like we will be judged for their actions or sticking by them. My husband is a brilliant but lost his way and addiction has taken over, until he gets that under control he can only have supervised contact with my children I.e his parents are there. It’s not forever but peace of mind.

It’s so so hard and a battle between your head and your heart constantly. Xxx

There is a link on this thread have a read through it. It made me have a better understanding.

It’s so hard and we are quite often the forgotten ones xxx

[exhaustedwife]

It really is heartbreaking and I’m afraid if I allow him normality in a way I’m enabling his addiction and I just can’t do that.

As much as I want to help and support I have to protect myself and my children.

It’s so sad and soul destroying. The stigma addiction has you also don’t speak about it in conversation I’ve found where as divorce cheating other issues etc you talk about so easily. It’s a lonely battle I find xxx

[exhaustedwife]

Thank you. I got so far through that article last night and will pick back up again tonight.

So far it is true and actually makes sense.

It is so sad and so confusing as I know I love my husband but he just isn’t that man anymore and I now have to learn how to deal with that.

How to not always be that support system and enable him in a way. It’s so hard.

[exhaustedwife]

Wow! Your reply resignates so much with me.

My husband like yours became somebody I didn’t recognise. Our marriage was breaking down and I didn’t know why for 18months the arguments over stupid things became unbearable- I now know this is due to cocaine abuse.

We started living apart from January this year as it become unbearable.

Recently used our separation as an excuse for his breakdown and suicide thoughts however I had an open door policy he could come and spend time with us when ever he wanted, he had tea with us and seen then children all the time. He says he can’t speak to me because I am the one he let down the most. But I’m just unsure about that reason. He was a brilliant dad but I now feel I can not trust him with them or their minds.

He doesn’t see any concern for other people or how his actions affect them, all about his feeling and his help etc.. but like you said we are now left reeling from their actions with no explanation and no future that we had planned. Its been stolen away from us.

It is emotional whiplash.

Same. I gave chance after chance for 10 years lots of support. I was hoping for a future with my husband but now I’m afraid that is not going to happen. Its so sad.

I am also struggling everyday or hour of the day. Life was good, we had good jobs and were comfortable until he blew all the money. He has support and people worrying for him but what about us that are left. Us that are meant to be strong but feel crippled.

I hate being told not to take it personally because it is personal. It’s our life.

Exactly cocaine abuse is a stigma and you’re made to feel embarrassed and can’t talk about it openly. Xx

Thank you so much for your reply. Take care xxx

[exhaustedwife]

Wow! Your reply resignates so much with me.

My husband like yours became somebody I didn’t recognise. Our marriage was breaking down and I didn’t know why for 18months the arguments over stupid things became unbearable- I now know this is due to cocaine abuse.

We started living apart from January this year as it become unbearable.

Recently used our separation as an excuse for his breakdown and suicide thoughts however I had an open door policy he could come and spend time with us when ever he wanted, he had tea with us and seen then children all the time. He says he can’t speak to me because I am the one he let down the most. But I’m just unsure about that reason. He was a brilliant dad but I now feel I can not trust him with them or their minds.

He doesn’t see any concern for other people or how his actions affect them, all about his feeling and his help etc.. but like you said we are now left reeling from their actions with no explanation and no future that we had planned. Its been stolen away from us.

It is emotional whiplash.

Same. I gave chance after chance for 10 years lots of support. I was hoping for a future with my husband but now I’m afraid that is not going to happen. Its so sad.

I am also struggling everyday or hour of the day. Life was good, we had good jobs and were comfortable until he blew all the money. He has support and people worrying for him but what about us that are left. Us that are meant to be strong but feel crippled.

I hate being told not to take it personally because it is personal. It’s our life.

Exactly cocaine abuse is a stigma and you’re made to feel embarrassed and can’t talk about it openly. Xx

Thank you so much for your reply. Take care xxx

[exhaustedwife]

The relationship is over unfortunately. I love him and have supported him for 10 years. I can’t can’t it anymore. I just need some answers for when he went missing and what he was doing etc.. I need to be able to have closure to move on. X

I hope things with your partner work out and he makes the right choice. X

[exhaustedwife]

Its so so hard. I feel so destroyed. I don’t know who I am anymore. Yet we are the ones who are expected to just pick up the pieces and carry on.

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