[februarymarie]

He hasn’t been in the past at all. Interesting, we have not been in communication for a while and he just texted me this morning and is trying to wean again and said that he is going to try and take his therapy more seriously. He was very apologetic. I plan on encouraging him to seek rehab if he’ll do it. We’ve been down this road before, so I’ll just try and be encouraging and not get myself too involved. I’m going to try and just stay focused on getting stronger myself.

[februarymarie]

My son and I were so very close, it makes the separation that much more intense. He tells me I’m the most important person to him and I’m all he has, which sadly, is somewhat true. He’s pushed everyone away including his family. He has no friends at this time. And of course, if I’m so important to him, why does he hurt me so bad? Because he’s addicted to alcohol and that’s the most important thing in his life. He doesn’t blame me for his problems, but he definitely takes it out on me. I’m at a point where I’m distancing myself from him because I know that’s what’s for best for me.

My husband, tells me to just stop thinking about him, its so difficult for me.

I’m so, so, very grateful to have found this place. You experience so many shocking things with an addict- some things you can’t even tell people.

[februarymarie]

I really appreciate your response! It’s so nice to have someone acknowledge your feelings.

Yes, I have attended Al-anon many times over the last two years. It does have a good plan to keep you focused on your own issues; however, it’s not encouraged to talk about your “person”. I’ve really been needing a support group to be able to just talk and share and I hope I’ve found it here. Thank you!

[februarymarie]

Yes Jenny, the alcohol has made my son someone I hardly know. I think he’s starting to lose his mental faculties and it terrifies me. Last summer he was so bad, I did what the “experts” tell you to do and called a mental help line for him. They told me all they do is call him and try to engage him and see if he would be willing to talk. They called me back and said that they left a message and that because confidentiality laws, they couldn’t tell me if he called back. He never said anything to me, so I assume he didn’t call back. It escalated to the point I called for a wellness check with the police and they went and knocked on his apartment door and they called me and said he didn’t answer. Why would he? He probably looked through his peephole and saw the police. They said that was all they could do. I felt so crushed and helpless.

My son is also not talking to me right now. I’ve heard from him once in over a couple of months. He says he needs to be alone to “think” about things and that he would not respond to any contact for a month. I feel stuck. Part of me wants to reach out, part of me is scared to. If he doesn’t respond, then I get that sick feeling that something is wrong. Sometimes he’s kind of normal. Or he’s mean and that hurts so much. It’s such a no win situation. Which is worse- hearing from him and he’s not good or not hearing from him and then I suffer too?

[februarymarie]

Hello- your story is my story. I just posted: “Mother of an Alcoholic Son“, before I saw your post but the story and the agony is the same. Interesting- I read your story and think, “God, please give love to that women who is suffering so much“. And yet, that woman is me too.

The past breaks your heart because you can’t stop thinking about your beautiful baby and watching them grow and loving them so much. I can’t even look at pictures of home from his childhood without sobbing. The present breaks your heart because of the fear and anxiety of what is currently happening and you’re in shock that this is your life. How did we get here?

And the future breaks your heart because it’s unknown and you feel like you’re waiting for them to die if they don’t stop. How can we live like that. It’s suffocating.

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