[feelinglost46]

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Lindyloo. It’s refreshing to hear someone validate my decision because I keep flip flopping from thinking I’m doing the best for me and the flip side, I’m running away and giving up.

I’m sorry to hear about your son. Addiction is such an evil monster. 🙁 I hope he has an eye opening event that can push him to recovery, just as I hope the same happens for my now ex.

With my now ex, his mother and I would constantly take the brunt of his mood swings, anger, guilt tripping, etc. It’s just so hard to deal with.

As an update…

I officially took off my engagement ring yesterday, but he isn’t ready to take it back. To my knowledge, he hasn’t left and went on a binge to drown his sorrow, and I’m a little proud of him for that. He is constantly saying he knows he fucked up the only good thing in his life, and that I will move on and find someone better because that’s what I deserve since he doesn’t believe he can get through this.

It’s hard. I know deep down a lot of what he says is to try and get me to take him back. It’s so so hard to stay the course. I feel so heart broken.

I’ve told one of my friends who knew I was having issues. He’s out of state and what not but one of my best friends. I feel like I should tell more people because they can hold me accountable but I also don’t want to deal with questions or I told you so (the last from my family especially). Do you think it’s wrong of me to put that off?

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