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Hi dan

If you google Narcotics Anonymous it should be able to point you in the direction of groups in your area x

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Just read that back and my stupid fat fingers lol it’s posed to say BEATING ADDICTION HYPNOSIS POSCASTS lol ffs

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Hi danman83

Ya know what I have read through quite a few threads and seen your name pop up a few times and was kinda hoping that you would see mine and comment so firstly hello and thank you

I saw on another one you recommended that Louise Clark lady and listened to her the other night as I went to sleep it takes a while to get used to how fast she talks kinda frazzled my brain a bit lol but she obviously knows what she is talking about and now I will continue to listen to the series thank you For recommending it and I will get that pocket app downloaded later too

Thank you for your kind words you sound like a decent bloke and I’m so sorry your struggling too and had a wobble this weekend

I’m pretty sure you will get back on track you sound pretty determined to beat this crap

I’ve also found a few “bearing boy addiction hypnosis podcasts” on sound cloud which obviously have had no effect what so ever on me but may work for you lol

I’ve got no contacts on social media tbh 99.9%of my friends have no idea bout my dirty secret and would be pretty disgusted with me if they knew

I’ve tried deleting numbers works to a point but I know where to find them so end up cracking and just going where I know to go

I tend to buy when I have the money available be it Morning noon or night so there’s no set pattern there as such

I am actually very creative and since giving up ft work few years ago I have been quite successful at selling my art online I do try to keep myself busy and not to think about it but it just gets in my head and nags away at me I just feel like a lost cause lol

I just can’t believe I’ve let it do this to me all the time I smoked weed and used to go out doing pills raving I was literally the last person I knew to try coke

Everyone else used to do it and I was always not against it as such but just didn’t appeal to me I wish I’d stuck to that mind set

I honestly thought I’d never give up weed I used to smoke shit loads of the stuff from the minute I woke up Til the minute I went to bed thinking bout it when I was still smoking I didn’t do gear not even half as much as I do now I could go months between seshs but as I say last ten years since I stopped smoking that it’s juat spiralled into stupidity

I wish there was a magic cure that could mend my brain and re wire it to be normal I don’t Wanna live like this but then it’s only me making myself do it so I dunno arrrghhh sorry lol I’m waffling On again x

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Hi montyclm

I know it prob sounds stupid and illogical but I can’t admit to it to my gp or the mental health team because I know for fact this sort of stuff stays on ya records and id rather die first than to risk my kids being flagged up or god forbid taken into care because of me and my life choices

I am ashamed of so much of my life and so many things I’ve done but I wanna keep themout of it if that makes sense and admitting it to the gp might not be in their best interests and despite everything bad I am I do want to protect them from me and my problems I’d NEVER hurt my kids god forbid anyone did but if one of them say broke a leg and it was an unexplained injury then they looked into me and it was flagged up that I was a coke head it could very quickly (even tho completely unrelated to my addiction) escalate to being seen as a child protection issue and social services and other agencies getting involved with the kids care (I have not only seen these scenarios first hand as a long term nhs employee til only recently and for seen a similar scenario actually play out with a friends kid that was compleltely crazy she’s been clean for years but still lost them and had to fight tooth and nail to get them back) I can NOT do that to them or my hubby…

I’d rather die than put them through that and that’s what I honestly would prefer for me to drop Dead and him to then eventually go find a lovely new girl to be a better mum for them than i can be even tho it breaks my heart to even think it let alone say it….

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