[franticmum]

hi love, I think you already know what you should do, take your children and leave, harsh you may think but while he is using he is not the man you once knew and fell in love with, he says he wont be able to quit without you but is he making an effort to be clean with your support, No one can tell you what to do but please please think of your children, they have no say in this matter but im sure they will thank you one day for taking them away from this nightmare, I feel your pain and know what you are going through, its hard but you dont deserve to be treated this way, im not sure if I have been of any help but I know how I felt when someone replied to my plea, take care love and be strong
love Sue xxx

[franticmum]

hi love, you are certainly not heartless but a mum who is at a loss to help her son, drugs and alcohol destroy not just the users life but also the lives of their loved ones. Until he admits that he has a problem sadly there isnt much anyone can do to help, which I know is so frustrating, my son has been an addict for many yrs now, he has been through several rehabs, he seems to get so far then relapse, this latest has been the worse, I dont have any answers for you I really wish I had, Try to keep strong and trust your gut instincts, seek help for yourself to get u through this and remember it is his choice to live the way he does, and whatever the outcome of these choices it is not your fault, take care love
Sue xx

[franticmum]

oh Fiona its never ending love, I have never come across anyone more selfish than an addict, when will they stop and realise what they are doing to us. My son is just as bad no thought for anyone but himself, after days of no one being able to contact him, his brother found him and he had the nerve to call myself n his dad uncaring, i was speechless, he said he had got no support off any of his family and that we wouldnt care if he was dead, if my heart wasnt already broken it certainly would be now, these last few hopeful years are meaningless now, how can he say these hurtful things? I cant make things better for you I truly wish I could, keep strong for your mum and dad they are the ones that need your care and love, and lets hope that maybe one day they will come to understand what they are putting us through and have the courage to change, take care Fiona love you will get through this,
love Sue Xxxxxx

[franticmum]

me too Fiona, i really feel like im at the end of the road now, I dont have any more to give, but fear the worst is going to happen, if the drugs dont kill him the blood clot could break at any time he refuses to go back in hospital and is not even taking the medication to thin his blood, its like being in a nightmare and I cant wake up. By what you have said it seems your son needs professional help if he is serious about getting clean, we have done the cold turkey a few times in the past with absolutely no success, Why do they do this to us not just once but over and over again, all I can do (and im sure you are the same) is take each day at a time hour by hour , and pray that the miracle will happen, sending you a big hug and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to reply to me its like a lifeline at the moment, take care Fiona and try to keep strong
love & hugs Sue xxx

[franticmum]

Hi I wanted to reply to your post because I know how hard it is to go through what you are, being a family member of a drug user is a rollercoaster of emotions you want to help him but in reality there is nothing you can do or say to make him stop, he has got to make that decision himself, he says he has reasons why he takes drugs but what about you and his children? are they not a big enough reason not to? You need to try and put you and your childrens needs first, easy to say but hard to do i know, i dont know if my words will help but please listen to your head and go with your gut instinct what he is doing is so very wrong in every way, take care,
Sue xx

[franticmum]

thank you Fiona, i cant believe it has come to this, the hospital wouldnt section him because he was using heroin, they said the psycotic episodes were because of the drug, he discharged himself even though he could hardly walk, i thought i had gone through every kind of hell in the past but this has got to be the worse, maybe its because im older now and not in the best of health myself, i fear that the worse is yet to come. I just hope i am strong enough to get through this time, thanks again for your kind words and i hope you are holding up ok, take care love Sue xxx

[franticmum]

hi, my son now 34 has been using on and off for 17 yrs, it started with cannabis but he soon switched to heroin, initially we tried to help him by supporting him, paying off his debts of which there were many and attending various organisations which we thought would help him overcome his addiction, but sadly the drug was too tempting and so started a rollercoaster lasting many years, at his worst he would disappear for weeks at a time where no one could find out where he was, he has since revealed he moved to different towns where he was not known to fund his habit, there is nothing anyone can say or do to stop this terrible time for you, i wish there was, and sadly after several years of building a new drug free life my son has started using again he is on the big downward spiral that no one can stop, i too detest this drug as it not only ruins the users life but of those close to them as well, i thought i had got my son back and seeing him on this path is a knife through my heart, i both love and hate him if that makes sense, I hope you hear from your boyfriend soon as i know how you feel its the not knowing that is hard, i felt i had to reply to your post cos i can feel your pain, keep strong love
Sue Xx

[franticmum]

thank you both for your kind words, it does help to have your support, even though we are strangers, we are connected by our suffering, i try to count my blessings every day for all the good i have in my life, And i know i will get through this horrid time as i have before, it just takes longer to pull myself through.
Keep strong ladies, take care
Sue xx

[franticmum]

hi lucinda, i wish i had a solution for you, but unfortunately it has to be him that makes the change, this much ive learnt along the way, ive tried everything i can think of to try to get my son back, hes 34 now and been an addict since he was 17. He has been through rehab several times but always reverts back to drugs when the going gets tough, sorry that i cant offer you anything more positive, all you can do is stay strong listen to your head n you gut feelings, I wantedto reply to let you know that you are not alone, take care love,
Sue xx

[franticmum]

ive found out today that my son is in hospital with a blood clot in his leg, this is the third time it has happened and last time he was told that he was lucky to survive, seemingly its because he has been injecting into his groin, (its a way to hide the track marks ive been informed) He seems to be on a road to self destruction and wont listen to anything that anyone says to him, he is going to be sectioned under the mental health act, what do i feel? sad, hurt,angry, and most of all so ashamed, how did it get to this, how much more have we got to go through, i dont know what to do any more i feel i havent got the strength to give him support, ( i feel so selfish just saying this) but i didnt ask for any of this, everyone says its not my fault he is like this, so why do i feel ive let him down,

[franticmum]

Honestly Emma I’m not sure how I’ve got through some of the really bad times, it’s a no win situation, when he’s around I’m constantly on edge always checking what he’s up to, but then a few years ago he just disappeared and nobody knew where he was, that’s when I kept having nightmares, what if was laying in a ditch somewhere, every time the phone rang I was scared it would be bad news, they were really bad times, I ended up in hospital it made me so ill, I don’t know to this day where he was cos he refuses to tell us, I would love to tell you it gets easier but for me this time is the worse of all, I feel he has totally lost me now, how will I ever trust him again, he has let himself and me down big time and at the moment I can’t see it ever ending, sorry I’m really struggling at the moment, have you watched the video at the top of the site? I don’t know if I could sit there n tell my story, it’s easier to write it down for me and I do feel a bit better for sharing my thoughts on here, it’s took me over 17 years to put myself first I don’t know if I will be able to keep it up but I’m going to try, I’ve been rambling again but it helps, take care Emma and remember keep strong

Sue xxx

[franticmum]

Hi, since I found this site on Christmas Eve when I was at a very low point, I have continued to visit it, and although sad that there are many people that are living a similar nightmare, it has given me some comfort to share my feelings, it’s good to find others that understand the roller coaster of emotions that you go through, I would not begin to tell you what you should do but some advice that I have found helpful is you need to go with your gut instincts and try not to let your heart rule (not easy though, I know) you have 2 young children that look to you to teach them right and wrong, there are not enough bad words to describe how I feel about drugs, addicts are very devious they will lie n cheat and do anything for their fix, my son is an addict and at the moment has relapsed he knows that I love him but cannot for my own sanity be part of the life he is choosing at the moment. Although no one can change what is happening, by posting on here you will realise you are not alone, keep strong

Sue xx

[franticmum]

Oh Emma my heart goes out to you, it’s like you are writing about my life, my son started with cannabis, but then went on to heroin, he has done all the things you describe and much more, try not to feel guilty about your feelings for him, easier said than done I know, I too have told my son that I love the son he was but hate the addict he is at the moment, I’m so tired of it all and can’t see a happy ending any more, I go from being so angry to being so sad that he has chosen to throw his life away like this, one piece of advice I would like to share is look after yourself, go to your GP, seek help for YOU, it will not solve your sons problems but you need help to get through this, my counsellor told me it’s like a bereavement as you are mourning the son you have lost to drugs, wise words if you think about it, this site has been a comfort to me as a place to write about things I’m so ashamed off and not be judged , take one day at a time
Keep strong, take care
Sue xxx

[franticmum]

Thank you for your kind words fifi, and Emma, I know what you mean about people not understanding, I think you have to have gone through this ordeal to understand why it’s so hard, throughout all this I’ve had a lot of so called friends say “I know what I would do ” etc, the thing is I have tried everything and at a loss now I think this is why I feel so down at the moment, and though it’s so sad that there seems to be many other families that mirror my situation it’s a comfort in a way to be able to share with people who really understand the damage that ALL drugs do not just to the user but all the others in their life, it does help a little writing about my feelings, take care and keep strong xx

[franticmum]

Keep strong fiffi, I too have a son who is now 34, we have had 17 yrs of hell trying everything to help him overcome his addiction to heroin, at the moment I’m in that dark place as once more he has relapsed, I don’t know what else to try, I love the son I used to have but hate the addict he is at the moment, he says he loves me and is sorry for all the hurt he has caused but still he uses, I can’t see an end to this nightmare , I count my blessings every day as I still have a lot of good in my life, my other 2 sons are settled and happily married and I have 2 beautiful granddaughters and a new baby due next month, they are what keep me going, I must have got something right, sorry I’ve rambled on a bit, my prayers will include you tonight and hope that things turn around for you, take care xx

[Author]

Posts