[franticmum]

Hi thanks for replying, what’s so hard that he was a lovely blue eyed blonde haired little boy, as a teen people used to comment about how polite n well mannered he was, what went wrong? I’ve absolutely no idea, he left school got a job he enjoyed, then his behaviour became strange, mood swings secretive, he admitted to smoking cannabis occasionally, I have asked him repeatedly what changed but have never to this day had a proper answer, then came all the lies n stealing small amounts of money, he lost his job through bad timekeeping, we didn’t find this out till much later, I guess I was very naive then but not now, I still love my son so much it hurts but I hate him at the same time, all I wish for this new year is peace and a break from all the stress and I know I cannot achieve this without being strong and putting my own needs before his, thank you again for replying, be strong and follow your gut instincts x

[franticmum]

In answer to your last sentence in my experience yes u will always come second to an addict, I think you need to go with your gut feelings n not let your heart rule, your children could end up resenting u for staying with him, and as said in the above post a happy mum is so much better for a child than a scared fearful one, and yes you are allowed to shout and scream, your gp or citizens advice will be able to help put u in touch with relevant support don’t be afraid or embarrassed to seek help, remember your children rely on you as an adult to do what is right, sorry if it sounds like I’m preaching but anything to do with drugs makes me so so cross, it’s ruined the last 17 yrs of my life as my son is a heroin addict n I’ve finally come to realise its time to put myself first and although heartbroken I gave my son the ultimatum it’s drugs or us sadly he has chosen the thing he loves more than me, best wishes to you for the future I sincerely hope things work out for you whatever you decide x

[franticmum]

I think it helps a little just writing it down, a counsellor once advised me to go somewhere peaceful where I wouldn’t be disturbed and write a letter to my son about all of my feelings about the situation, not to give it to him if I didn’t want to but just to put all my worries etc on paper, although I didn’t actually give my son the letter I felt a little better just writing it all down, I too think some happy ending would be helpful but sadly in my experience there are not many, I don’t know if u read my post but I thought 17 years on I had got my happy ever after, this latest relapse has been by far the worse maybe because I thought it was all behind us, I’m just hoping 2014 is going to be a peaceful year as it’s getting harder to pick myself up, it’s true what they say that drugs ruin not just one life but the lives of all around them, just remember people do care and solace can be found with support, sorry if this is a bit long winded but I wanted you to remember you are not alone, take care x

[franticmum]

Hi GillyB, I too have been driven almost insane by the lies and deceit of my son, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is don’t let yr heart rule yr head, trust in YOUR instincts, if u think something’s amiss is most likely is, the hardest thing I have ever done is testify against my son after he broke into my home and stole precious sentimental items that are now long gone, the police liaison officer who guided us through said the only love u can give anyone involved with drugs is tough love, you need professional help, while my actions didn’t stop my son using drugs he has never been in prison since, if things get too much go see your gp mine put me in touch with help for me and other family members, keep strong sorry I couldn’t help more but you are not alone xx

[franticmum]

Merry christmas AmandaA, I too face this time of year with much sadness and despair, I fear tomorrow because I know there will be upset and pain, this year is made even harder than most as the last couple of years have been the best in 17 years, my son has once more succumbed to the horrid family destroying drug, and my family is once again split apart, at this moment I hate my son for causing this pain and then get upset cos a mothers love should be unconditional shouldn’t it? That’s what I thought but not any more, here’s hoping 2014 is a better year xx

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