Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Mine actually has changed! Hes now five weeks clean. Two weeks into his recovery he left me. Literally got up and left took all his stuff. No arguments no chance for me to make anything better. The reason given is that im too controlling and I dont trust him… of course the 6 months of lies, manipulative behaviour, him stealing from me could have something to do with that. Im genuinely heartbroken because we went through so much together and I worked so hard to try and get him clean.. only for him to leave me as soon as he did.
Genuinely if you keep giving chances maybe he could see the light and change but the problem is… once they stop it brings to the surface all of the emotions that they have been trying to bottle up and calm with the drug taking.. so its not necessarily any easier to be with someone who has gone clean than a user at least in my experience. Either way always here to listen
Good luck darling
Ive been through the manipulation, that its all my fault, that im imagining things. That im crazy and that I need to see a psychologist. Thats what makes me say that you sound as if you have got out at a good time because you need to take into account that it can get much worse. The offers to change or home tests etc usually only last until they use again and again you are trying to control or manipulate them. I think you should take time for yourself and think about whether you really want to carry on as you have been so far as there is no guarantee anything will change for the better.
Genuinely if youve moved out its probably a really good thing. Though its heartbreaking honestly its better at this stage befote you start losing a grip on reality. It sounds like you are doing a really good job of thinking rationally which is amazing. Him “getting worse” because you have left is a lie that he will either tell you or you will tell yourself because he was doing this long before you came into his life and he was doing it during your “happiest” moments together. So dont be manipulated into trying to rescue him. Initially my boyfriend told me he didnt need professional help, that if I would just help him then he would be able to recover but it was a huge mistake because all of the pressure I took onto myself and every time he used and lied it became a personal faliure. You sound like a very strong person and you deserve the best in life. Think carefully about what you want long term and how you feel you will be able to cope if the situation was the same in 6 months or a year.
Hugs
Im sorry for what you are going through. I have a similar story. I cant really offer much advice and im a few months down the line from you in that I found out in February. I heard all the promises to change and denial of needing professional help. Hes now (june) finally attending a rehab programme but the damage that was done to our relationship through all the months of lies betrayals and blowup arguments over the drugs has completely broken our relationship and hes actually left me.
So just be careful, now that you know you are in a strong position to be able to walk away if necessary. I know i had rose tinted glasses on when I fiest found out as I assumed ah him telling me is his cry for help and a sign he really wants to change but I couldnt have been more wrong.
Be careful, look after yourself first.
Sending you big hugs
Im so sorry!! I completely understand the feeling of being so angry you want to scream and dont want to be in the same room. Im also so sick and tired of the waiting for him to come home and apologise. It gets harder and harder to swallow your anger each time. Youve genuinely summarised how I feel so well.
Today everything is great but only two nights ago I was sat here crying after I realised hed stolen 50 from my handbag to go and buy cocaine. Now is the calm apologetic time. Everything will be fine until its not again. Im here trying to solve all his problems again and paying for everything until his payday comes.. and hence the dread because I genuinely need him to pay me back what he owes me (usually 500 by the end of every month) in order to survive.
Im really sorry. Sending you a big hug.
I wish I could make it better for you but always here if you need someone to listen. Xx
Yes absolutely. I dread the end of the month as I know whats coming on payday. Sorry to hear you are experiencing the same.
Reading your post and its a scarily accurate description of how my partner behaves. You are not alone in this though it feels that way and you are not a bad mum. Sending you hugs.