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Absolutely she has a problem. If something is negatively affecting your life and you continue to do it you’re addicted. Drinking heavily 4 times a week and hiding it, is a tell tell sign. She has a problem.
You’ve come to the right place though, welcome – we all chat and support eachother.
What have you said to her? What does she say when you say she’s an alcoholic?
my BF is 4 weeks now – the counselling seems to be working, he usually relapses every 2 weeks ish. Its odd as i have been getting anxiety waiting for him to f*ck up but he hasnt and it feels good, although, I wont hold my breath. Only takes 1 of his idiot mates to bump into him and offer it though but i need to have some faith and I am staying positive.
Dan 6 weeks!!!!!!! thats amazing…….. literally, you’re smashing it. I am really glad youre in a better place now and seeing the good side to giving up. Literally cocaine is the worst. I bet your GF is so happy…. inside she must be really proud of you and SO relieved, done it for your kids. Not worth losing them.
Erm I could suggest some books but they are a bit girly hahaha i have read loads in the past, depends what youre into – what you reading at the mo?
I absolutely LOVE reading, its an escape, it makes me forget anything sh*t thats going on in life temporarily, i love getting lost in books..
oh my god Jennifer without a doubt its definitely to do with addictive personalities.. my other half when i met him I thought wow you really do get obsessive on things so easy, whether it be gym, coffee, smoking – there always had to be something… his dad was also an alcoholic and he died from it, so he knows what drugs/alcohol causes, i think its passed down – its baffling.
I find addiction so hard to understand, I try and relate – but I just cant I have always been the take it or leave it type you know.
Bless you, i hate drugs, they ruin everything. People just dont realise until its too late. I have friends that do it for fun and i just think wow you really dont realise the risk youre putting yourself under long term – ive had to bin those friends now, as I dont want anything to do with it.
You must always put yourself first, i know he is family.. but your mental health is important too.
I feel the same too, I dont speak to anyone about it anymore – because they dont understand at all and they make stupid comments about it, i would rather come on here and speak to people who truly understand. My mum is so judgemental on the subject she tells me to run a mile, not that easy though when we live together.
Mines gone 4 weeks now, not relapsed – hes having counselling once a week – its expensive.. but so far seems positive. He was relapsing sniffing like every 2 weeks – dont help that his friends are all idiots that offer it to him. So hes cut them off too.
I just live in fear thats the problem, waiting for another relapse – have to avoid going out drinking etc, dont really see my friends.
Ah I dont know, I am staying strong and positive at the moment. He really wants it and this is the last chance really for me, i cant keep going through this. I want to start my own family. Life is on hold atm.
Reading some of these stories on here truly terrifies me…. as i worry he will get treatment, give up, recover and then years down the line bam 1 line and its all back to square one……………….
I know it doesnt help saying about the relationship thing but it will ruin you eventually – we were all once the ‘rock solid’ you mention. There is no good end to coke addiction. it ruins anything and everything in its path.
Good Luck and seek help, do everything Dan said..
Hi rlg21… £500 on cocaine is 100% doable, cocaine is so so expensive. I know people who have had £1000 a week habit..
bless your heart, if he wants to change he needs to go to the doctors and get help ASAP.
xx
Hi Lou,
No problem.. bless you. You really do want to believe it more than anything I was the same at first and I completely believed him and its so hard to accept as we dont realise what it feels like to be addicted, I want to scream and shout at my bf about it as nothing good comes from it at all.
It just ruins everything, eventually they become completely emotionless and live a life of lies. Its completely horrendous, some of the things ive read on here its heartbreaking, you literally lose everything eventually unless youre willing to change your life, it cant be easy. I try to understand, but i dont and i dont think i ever will… i havent ever been addicted to anything so find it hard to understand.
He will lie, they are usually such good liars, i mean for his wife to leave him – it must have gotten REALLY bad.. I think you need to say to him go, sort your life out, seek professional help. The first step is going to the doctors, he needs to really really want it.. or he’ll never be able to change.
Addiction is mind boggling. I have read up on it and watched endless clips online about it and its sad, as apparently when it gets you its not curable – how scary is that?!! I struggle to believe that really.. I know it can be managed and people do go sober but it lingers i think, there is always that risk – and its everywhere these days, so its hard.
My boyfriend is going to addiction therapy, he relapses every 3/4 weeks and every time i am left devastated. My story is nothing compared to some on here – some peoples husbands have left them in 50k debt and left them with the kids etc, its scary and it worries me so much.. my life is completely on hold. I dont cope really, i have cried, screamed at him, threatened to leave and it continues.. I will leave him if this continues, i have told him this.. I am so done with it. I am 26 now and want to start a family etc.
I think if you read through these threads, youd see what I mean.. Dan on this forum will tell you (hes addicted himself) and hes battling with it.. bless him hes doing brilliantly – he really wants it, and your BF will need the same will power to give up. Also, with it being long distance, i think youll live in fear, like I do!!! when mine leaves the house and hes longer than he said I totally go into panic, not good. He went away for work last week and i was in tears, sat at home worried sick..
In a way I think I get so upset as I know deep down itll probably be the end of us.
Do let us know how you get on and what he says etc.. everyone is so supportive on here, its so sad as hes already lost everything… i hope he gets the strength to seek help.
xxx
Louise… I will be brutally honest with you – if you read above anyone thats deep in this with a BF/husband or whatever will tell you its the hardest thing. You have no unbreakable ties as such, I would literally walk away now, he will lie and manipulate you into thinking he is going to change etc and he probably wants to BUT it is not that easy. Addiction is not curable, it is a disease and it can only be managed and its TOUGH, i live with my boyfriend and I am in ‘deep’ I guess and if i ever had known at the stage you’re at i would have run a bloody mile. It will totally be the worry of your whole relationship, youll end up getting anxiety about his addiction, seriously.. its not worth it . I know its probably hard reading this, as you love him but its so consuming, ive felt so depressed and anxious because of my boyfriends issues, its such a hard long road. I really would suggest you take a read at some of these forums about other peoples stories, as they are horrifying to say the least – its so scary, cocaine takes over your whole life and ruins anything in its path. Thats the sad truth xxx
ha I agree, definitely not worth the stress if youre not in deep. Best not to be naive in this situation, as thats what will get you in trouble……………. i was naive, if someone gave me the option and told me what it was, i would never have gone there, as its hell
Yeah I deffo learnt the hard way, I know not to start now – i just praise him. Its been about 3-4 weeks, remember that wednesday night he randomly did it after having an anxiety meltdown, hes paying £60PH to see this counsellor every wednesday and he said its working, i find it hard to not get anxious about it though.
In reply to your post, I dont know if youd be able to drink again -its weird it sorta goes hand in hand dont it – as soon as you have a drink youll want coke, its hard as its everywhere, its the devils dandruff i call it..
I used to do it on the occasion and i never saw the big deal over it, it just made me bite my nails haha
My bf self medicated his anxiety with drink & drugs when his X mrs went off with his kids with his brother, its all very mental and twisted no wonder hes got issues.
see i am ok about it at the moment, but some days i just sense that hes going to relapse and he keeps talking about havings kids etc but i am scared i will commit myself and i will be let down again..
xx
If this is the start to your relationship and you arent in deep do not go back there, Bev is right, run and dont look back. He will say whatever he can to manipulate and they are the best liars. Addiction doesnt just go away, its a long long road – i suggest you read through some threads, as I think that will help you make up your mind.. sending love xxx
Dan, well done.. seriously what youre doing is amazing you should be proud of yourself mate. Hope youre all well and things are a bit better for you all. My BF has been having addicton counselling treatment and it seems to be working for now. Although I wont get my hopes up, as it seems that when i do it smacked me in the gut!! Love to you all xxxx
Good luck with your new life Elaine.. I wish you all the strength in the world <3 🙂
It might be the best thing for him to be honest. How long is he looking at doing? youre so brave, you may realise when he goes away that you are better off without him to be honest. You dont deserve it. xx
Hi Claire,
Bless you.. does he realise he needs help? the problem with addicts is that it makes them so so selfish, they are almost emotionless.
How long has he been doing cocaine and drinking and how often is this?
It is such a heartbreaking place to be in.. xx
go to the doctors, seek help, this will completely ruin every single element of your life… go into rehab. Prove youre wanting to change, dont let her go. Not over drugs, its not worth it. Fight this, for her and them.