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he cant cheat the hair test, no..
I’m sorry you’re going through this honestly, I cant imagine being pregnant and dealing with that. He is manipulating you – he will want you by the way, but he will want that too, and he will say anything that you want to hear, and he will manipulate and lie – regardless of you putting it all on the line he will do it again. The rude snappiness you’re definitely right is the come down/ cravings – its an emotional relapse.
I know its so hard to understand, i used to question myself and blame myself, it drove me mad.
I dont think he will see it as a game, its an addiction after all – its a disease and it physically takes hold of you, the sad/frustrating this is, a lot of people don’t get clean and they ruin everything and choose the coke (kids/marriages/businesses) coke has actually been chosen over it all?? its so hard to accept.
if you take him back, he will do it again – hes getting no help, hes not willing to actually take action and change, believe me, you will be in this exact position next month, the month after.. all will be going well, youll get your hopes up and bam itll all come crashing down.
for your own sanity and stress – i would take a step back, which i know is hard (as youre pregnant) but honestly do it for yourself, as it will make you ill.
he will say anything to make you think hes giving it all up but just remember it isnt that easy – you cant just give it up when youre an addict! he will say hes getting help etc he will beg and make promises – ive been there, and you wanna believe them because you love them.
unless he really truly gets help and hits rock bottom – he wont change, he needs to WANT to change and go rehab/meetings and make HUGE changes
i know its not the advice you probably want to hear.. but i was you just not pregnant – it went on for years, dont do it to yourself or your child as you will be the one left picking up the pieces
xxxxxxx
hi Adam
you need to completely change routine and your life – you need to eliminate the pub thats for sure, just while youre getting better. You need to stay away from anyone tha does it. Get a new hobby, go gym, take yourself away from it all.
2 weeks is good – stay focused, you need to go doctors though and get some proper help.
You are right its everywhere but try and delete everything associated with it, my boyfriend has and all is going well at the moment..
oh god, im glad im dark then i think i look a bit like a turk so i will be ok haha
how you been since youve been back Dan? have you craved coke at all? where is your head at with it? x
Ooo exciting – i go on the 27th Sept, i hope its still hot then.
my post got deleted on here – maybe i was a bit harsh, i was in a bad mood that day lol – maybe i shouldn’t go into counselling after all
im glad you liked it, i am going all inclusive, only for 5 days though – need another break. Time goes so quick.
I get paranoid cos of all the shit going on in the world – maybe thats narrow minded of me?! but i do get paranoid but im sure itll be fine.
hahaha thanks – hes still not doing it, hasnt relapsed at all.. but i wont hold my breath Dan as when i relax my life comes crashing down lol x
~Hi Pops
click on my username and see all my responses on this as i cant type it all out again as im in a meeting – ive given lots of advice on this, i was in your shoes (not pregnant though) if you click on my name itll bring up all my posts to people and stuff..
I am sorry you’re pregnant and going through this – the only thing i will say, unless he wants to stop he wont, not even you being pregnant will stop him – people choose coke over their kids, addictions are hard to understand when you’re not an addict yourself.
i would say run a mile but obviously its a bit complicated now youre pregnant 🙁 you can message me whenever though to chat.. he seems like hes really in deep. He will have to hit rock bottom to stop, like big time, lose everything to get the realisation wake up call as atm the addiciton will be in control so no matter what is on the line, the coke will come first – its hard to accept but its the truth xxx
I’m gonna go to Turkey in September, bet it was nice to just chill though. Is there loads of snide clothes out there haha. I followed you on IG. Not that I use it. Glad you had a nice time though, did it feel safe out there x
You are right it can happen to anyone – dont matter what you have or who you are.
You need to seek help, go to a doctor – even if youre only doing it once a week youre addicted and before this gets too deep you need to act, fast.
there are lots of people that can help, my BF has a problem with cocaine and its living hell for me but i do understand its a disease.. that needs to be managed before its too late.
You may not think you need help from someone but i really would suggest you do or this will continue and itll get worse and spiral.
go to the doctor, ask for help, go to addiction counselling as this really helps too
yeah i think hes probably been a ‘secret addict’ for a long time – it takes a while for it to show.. i think he knows hes an addict and he probably did try at Christmas time – but obviously he relapsed again.
all these relationships hes making with friends/girls – they will fade and he will regret this one day.
gosh – the sniffing on social media etc, im shocked. He has hidden behind your naivety – which is not your fault at all btw, i was so naive for ages – i wanted to believe too.. i still half am at the moment, i mean my partner has promised again – given up things that associate him with coke but i wont get my hopes up as i do then it all comes crashing down.
definite cocaine use – the whole being selfish, choosing that before your kids – it’ll be cocaine benders… it baffles me how people can be like that.
keep looking after yourself mentally and your children.. youre doing great xx
I know, its so draining as well isnt it reading up on it? it consumes your life.. it leaves me baffled and i just dont get it.
He wouldnt do that when off of the coke – it honestly just makes them selfish, no empathy, it completely changes them , when they’re on that road honestly not even your children will come first – if he is on the stuff, youll soon know as he will end up hitting rock bottom.
oh sinus issues is a huge sign too and the angry outbursts – it really ruins your mental health. Ive cried my heart out and begged before, put everything on the line and STILL he would choose the drugs and for me that was hard to swallow.. but now hes not on it hes the loveliest person – it baffles me.
bless you – its hard when children are involved, the thing is, even if you did get back together the chances of him relapsing going back to this is quite likely.
It is hard i agree – i was the same i have never been addicted to anything.. so i didnt understand, it is a disease though.. i dont think he can control what hes doing – he probably doesnt want to hurt you and one day he will hugely regret this im sure.
he will have to hit rock bottom to get help – as at the moment hes probably just chasing the buzz but it wont end well.
good luck to you … feel free to msg anytime – i completely understand and im sorry youre going through this, its sh*t! xx
Hi IC100
cocaine honestly makes people so selfish, if hes being nasty hes probably on it or on a come down. literally it makes them not care about anything, that comes first.
thats a huge tell tell in my eyes, the personality changes, he will be using.
An addict isnt just someone who takes it daily, if you take cocaine weekly, youre an addict. When it starts affecting your life/relationships its a problem.
i wish i could give you more positive advice but honestly, he will be saying hes stopped using but he wouldnt have. I would purchase some drug tests from amazon – they work and that will give you facts.
if youve taken cocaine say 2 months ago you wouldnt be acting that way, as it would be out your system – when theyre selfish and nasty usually its still in the system.
i even read that if you take cocaine say once a month (and you cant not) and you wanted to give up – youre an addict.. dont be fooled by the whole oh youre only an addict if you do it everyday, thats so not true. My bf is an addict and he went 6 months without it and relapsed
i would suggest you do some research and get clued up on it, google emotional stages of cocaine relapse as all the signs are there.
sorry but it doesnt sound like “social use” to me, the way hes acted and the things hes doing screams addict to me – and theyre brilliant liars, so he will manipulate and lie so you think he isnt.
its horrendous to accept – but honestly i would say you need to do drug tests when taking the children – i wouldnt also want someone to be on it whilst looking after my children.
you can buy them on amazon btw x
Hi Mollie
you really need to get help, go to counselling – my bf does and its helped him massively.
until youre 100% committed and ready to give up, you wont, youll keep relapsing.
wow adam, honestly, seek help before its too late mate.
youll lose everything honestly, your wife, your businesses..
you need to want help, you need to get help – you cant just cut down and be a social sniffer, youre an addict and its best to accept that and seek help.
Dan is right, you need to eliminate it all from your life, you need to go to a doctor.
honestly, act before its too late..
thank you Hox, i hope you are ok xx
Yes he was and getting like 8k a month from it, trying to get back on his feet but hes sacrificed it all he knows its too much of a risk. For that, i will continue to support him. I am glad its out of my life completely i bloody hate the stuff
He told me each time hes had a drink hes done it to cover up the fact he took coke – so i thought drink was the issue but it isnt its cocaine, the reason he told me its drink is because he knows i wouldve forced him to stop selling – even though i wanted him to stop anyway
omg 3 days, i am jealous – i need another holiday. I am looking at going to turkey so tell me how it is.
Aw i am glad shes being nice, bless ya you work hard – IF anyone offers it, i dont think they will.. just avoid people i would say, stay with your GF and kids as youll be less likely to do it.
have an amazing time and thank you for your email, i will prob need it at some point.
well done you for helping people too.. we should go into it professionally haha