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i love him so much i want to support him, but on the other hand, i just cant.. its making me feel ill, this will be a constant cycle. I am 26 for goodness sake, i am ready to start my life. I am scared this will be my life forever 🙁
so, hes come around from his bender and is suicidal etc.. begging me for help, hes in bits, its horrendous.
i hate that this disease is ruining his life.
its so awful – i dont know what to do
i am worried, not heard from him at all.
I have text asking him to confirm hes safe and ok.
usually i am there when he comes down, i worry what he will do.
xx
thank you so much.
i felt humiliated turning back up at my mums as i feel like its a told you so moment, she told me this would happen again – her boyfriend is a recovering addict of 15 years so she knows and has been put through hell so worries about me.
i am 26, felt so proud of him after those 6 months things were amazing – i dont understand why anyone would want to go back to that, hes losing everything.
you are right i have tried, letting someone go that you love is the hardest thing ever xxxxx I am at work today, which will keep me busy.. xx
i was reading about stages of relapse and he has every symptom on there , hes become like down and withdrawn now hes saying he can do it socially, when a month ago, it was completely unacceptable and he was on the straight and narrow.
he hasnt even contacted me since i left.. so he doesnt care – when he acts like this its hard to accept
Thank you Hox, really glad you responded xxx
How do I cope? I feel horrendous, I’m terrified of him going off of the rails.
I’ve tried so hard.. We’ve battled through this, he went 6 months with nothing, just these past 3 weeks everything has changed, I read through signs of a relapse and literally that’s what’s happening.
I feel so embarrassed, I’m at my mums now.. Got all my things in my car. Its all just a mess, I can only take so much you know I can’t make myself ill from this.
I truly believed he had changed.
I left, I’ve packed my stuff and gone. He drank again tonight and blamed me for everything.
I’m heartbroken and struggling..its so hard to accept he won’t ever change
Hi Dan,
My bf lapsed again on Thursday, so twice in a week.
I just don’t know what to do anymore, hes got counselling tonight.
He did some and instantly ring me and come home straight away so no bender, he recognised it, i just feel so anxious about it all now. I feel like he was 6 months off of it and now his anxiety is back and hes self medicating again. Its his f*cking ex wife, shes insane.
I want to support him but i cant continue forever, i just hope he gets better soon.
you need to walk away, he is in way too deep, honestly, your life will be consumed by his addiction – once they smoke crack there isnt much going back seriously, cut ties and move on there are honestly plenty more fish in the sea. xxxxxx
yes they work – they are the ones the police use. I know it seems a bit much but honestly its worth it, if you have a suspicion test them.
Oh god, honestly you sound like me.. its as though i am writing – as soon as my BF went out i went into panic mode, would call after 10 mins if he didnt answer i would have meltdown.
It really affected me mentally, my anxiety was just awful..
google addiction counselling, hopefully someone can help your OH.
get some cocaine tests from amazon and test him, as he could be lying – they are good liars.
i went through this too (still am) just less now.
addicts are brilliant manipulators and make you feel like youre going mad – youre absolutely not. It took me 6 months to start trusting again, the thought of no trust and panicking when they dont answer the phone is horrendous, it makes me feel sick thinking about it. I used to think it was my fault i wasnt good enough etc
its hard to stay calm isnt it? i have learnt that there is no point getting angry because it has the opposite affect.
my bf lapsed again on wednesday last week after 6 months, sometimes i think, wow, is this going to be my life forever..
my bf tends to lapse when things get tough, his anxiety builds up, hes addiction counselling has helped though, as he used to lapse every 2 weeks, he went 6 months without drink or drugs.
I feel so sorry for anyone going through this, its absolute HELL.
sending love to you allxx
and sorry to sound negative – you ending it wont change a thing, addiciton is a lot stronger than you think, its a disease, you threatening wont do nothing. People put drink and drugs before kids, work, marriages. Its hard to accept but believe me, there is no controlling an addict, they will use no matter what is on the line and youll end up the one thats hurt.. xxx
im sorry but there is absolutely nothing you can do if he really doesnt want to quit. He will say he does but actions speak louder and he probably doesnt want to that much.
My suggestion based on my experience, would be to walk away – this will be your whole life, a continuous cycle. Wish i had walked when i found out, as its hell but i am in too deep now. xx
well, anything that would cause him hassle she does it. He paid 40,000 court fees to fight to see his kids, she wouldnt let him, she even got the kid to call the police and say hes abusing them – now hes taken a step back and sees them like once a week shes saying you can have the kid full time – its basically anythign that may cause a problem, she will do it, cos she knows it would cause problems for us as a couple, because i dont have kids – so having a kid full time at 26 would be a problem. Its all a game to her.. its doing my head in.
She causes us so many problems honestly, she is insane, bipolar diagnosed so we get this every couple of months – it really gets him down, his kid worships the mother as well.. mental
ok Dan thanks for the advice, he does feel like shit he feels like hes failed again but i was angry then i said look dw we will get through it – youve just gone off track get back on track, bless him.. i do feel sad for him, must be bloody hard.
im 26 im worrying my eggs are drying up haha – i will need to have kids soon, but feel like theres so many risks involved, i get worried xx