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Thank you. Yes. I agree. He seems to have come round today. I’m not going to press him to get treatment anymore – he will have to go own that path on his own now. I will support him to get help but only if he makes the first steps. Pointless otherwise! Thanks again x
Thank you Soph. Makes me sad when you say ‘get out now’ because i know you are absolutely right. And I have. All my things are moved out now. I am hoping that they’ll reach rock bottom and change his ways…if he doesn’t I’m afraid he might die. It’s so sad because he is such a lovely person. This has been going n for years and years, starting from when his Dad died. You definitely right to do what’s right for you and your children. Have you been on the Priory website? The do’s and don’t of dealing with an alcoholic partner? I found this to be quite helpful today. Not that I am with him anymore. But ‘not trying to reason or talk to them when they are drunk’ was pretty good advice x
Thank you Soph. Makes me sad when you say ‘get out now’ because i know you are absolutely right. And I have. All my things are moved out now. I am hoping that they’ll reach rock bottom and change his ways…if he doesn’t I’m afraid he might die. It’s so sad because he is such a lovely person. This has been going n for years and years, starting from when his Dad died. You definitely right to do what’s right for you and your children. Have you bee on the Prior website?
https://www.priorygroup.com/blog/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-dealing-with-an-alcoholic-partner
I found this to be quite helpful today. Not that I am with him anymore. But ‘not trying to reason or talk to them when they are drunk’ was pretty good advice x
Thank you. Just spoken to him and he is calling me a slut and that he is going to take the baby away from me when he’s born…at least he in conscious now!! I’m nearly 6 months. Yes I have support thank you. What a terrible sad situation. We were in Greece two weeks ago with my family and he proposed. And now everything has collapsed. He was amazing on holiday. Didn’t get drunk, was kind and fun. My family all fell in love with him. But I guess we have been leading a double life. This is so terrible. I love him so much and the thought of losing him breaks my heart. The worthlessness I feel is beyond words.
Oh Soph, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I came to this site because I am 6 months pregnant and completely desperate. The cycle of drinking, abuse and then shame is the exact thing that I experience with my partner…but now I have the additional stress of finding out he has been contacting escorts behind my back while wasted. My whole world has collapsed. Alcohol is the most evil of things. Sending you my thoughts x
OMG Pink321. I am going through the exact same thing. I just found out that my partner has been contacting escorts behind my back. I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child. I am absolutely devastated (understatement). He is a serious alcoholic, it’s to the point where it is life threatening. The revelation of me finding out has lead to him feeling a lot of shame which has resulted in the biggest bender you can imagine and he has now lost his job. In the space of two week my entire world has collapsed. After all this I have the added stress that he may now commit suicide because I have left him. I love him so much. All I want is sober him. But I feel like I have lost him completely. I can’t fathom being a single Mum without him but I feel that me and the baby will be in danger if I keep him in my life. URGH! I really feel your pain. Hate that someone else might be going through this too.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this. You and your partner sound like you have had a difficult time. I have now moved my things out of his place and will try and set up on my own somewhere. He is currently out in USA on a work trip. He would have missed the flight, as a few hours earlier he was unconscious after a four day bender. But I STUPIDLY ‘rescued him’. Cleaned him up, put him to bed, got him up and put him on the bus to the airport. He made the flight but upgraded himself to first class (spent £1000 which makes me feel sick), no doubt to get free flowing drinks on the flight. He’s been too drunk to make it into the conference he was going to and has now been sacked. He’s been semi conscious in his hotel room for two days …. I have no idea if he will be able to make it home. The stress is overwhelming. 🙁
Hi Bar, I’m so sorry to read this. I am going through the EXACT same thing. My partner is the most amazing guy you could imagine when he is sober. Kind and fun. But when he drinks he is vile and abusive. I have recently found out he has squandered tens of thousands of pounds, and has been contacting escorts behind my back while drinking and using cocaine. I’m 6 months pregnant. It’s the most dire situation, and as the pregnancy progresses, so does his drinking. He is about to lose his job. I have decided to leave him, at least for the short term, as my physical heath is now deteriorating as a result of my mental health collapsing. It’s such a horrible disease. You are really not on your own. Do you know if he wants to help himself? Does he know that he has a problem? Is he in any kind of treatment programme? I’m worried that now I have left that my partner may have a break down. I do think that he needs to reach rock bottom in order to see how bad his problem is, but I’m worried that he might commit suicide. It’s all so very sad.