[Goodtime7]

You are doing the right thing, I know it goes against everything we feel as parents to ignore our child’s pleas for help
Please don’t enable him, if you keep helping out financially you are enabling him to continue with his drugs

Sadly I learnt the hard way 40k spent on a Son who could manipulate me with guilt.

[Goodtime7]

I found arming myself with knowledge about addiction was the best thing I could do to help me cope, also I belong to a local support group.

I have stood by one family member who clearly wanted to stop; he got himself into support groups, attends online training on how to manage his addiction and has been clean for over eight months, he did relapse several times, but he’s now doing a mental health course as he has identified that his mental health issues led him to take drugs

Another family member, I paid for a months rehab, sadly he refused the ongoing support and was back on cocaine within a month, it’s a hard battle to stop addiction but it can happen, I used to enable him by giving him a home and money, he knows I love him but he now lives in a hostel, as I can’t cope with his  lies and the chaotic lifestyle he lives.

Separation is not the only option there is lots of help out there, we went to our GP who was really helpful

Good Luck

 

 

 

 

 

[Goodtime7]

oh my heart goes out to you, For you and your daughters sake, get him out of your lives, neither of you deserve to be treated in this way, he is selfish and will only make changes if it’s suits him, don’t be in an abusive relationship, I was for years, now I am free of him and happy, wish I had done it’s years ago, you are worth more than this.

 

[Goodtime7]

My heart goes out to you, clearly you are under an immense amount of pressure, having someone to confide in is key

Please ask for help, CA are brilliant or your GP, you deserve to be given support during this difficult time

Your beloved Mum would not want you suffering along like this

 

 

[Goodtime7]

Lillesunshine

Thank you I was beating myself up about my son having to leave my home.

likewise I am in recovery from bowel cancer, three major surgeries in two years, plus my husband becoming disabled during this time after having a serious stroke, these events were not of our choice.

Our Sons do have choices

Like you my hard earned life savings have been spent on him, Rehab, counselling, bailing him out of debt etc etc

But in all honesty he hasn’t changed, the lies the verbal abuse, the blame he heaps on me.
He has destroyed my sense of self worth, I know hand on heart I have tried my best.

He is all about him, no one else matters, so I am separating myself from him he’s  32 years old

Legally I owe him nothing, I’m not obliged to give him a home, food, gym membership etc etc the list goes on and on

Time for him to he helps himself, it’s emotionally tiring for me, I’m broken totally, for the sake of my husband and daughter and me I need to let go.

 

 

[Goodtime7]

My sons addiction has meant the end of his

Family life and loss of his job, his partner could not cope with his lies and spending of money needed to provide for his family.

I paid for rehab in the hope he could save his family life, he relapsed

So a very depressed son came back to live with me and his step dad, my son is 32 years old

GP put him on antidepressants, my son spent 5 months talking to me and CA

Life was improving, regular visits with his daughter, a new job and then ……

His partner started a new relationship and my son, with money in his pocket went back to cocaine and his behaviour had spiraled

A recent row between my son and husband resulted in my son moving out

He has since been living rough, my husband is disabled and needs my care for him, but I love my son and feel torn.

My son now tells me he’s selling his van to fund doing a walk as hid life is unbearable, and if it gets no better he will end his life, he often says this I get unbearably stressed by this.

Over the past 15 years I know I have tried my best to help my son in hindsight I enabled him thru total ignorance at times, but always in hope and love that things would change

I know addiction is an illness, I believe the breakdown of my married to his father the cause

But I am so very tired now.

 

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