[himbeere]

I guess all the people here have been very supportive to their husband/ partners. But it seems it is just a matters of time when they pushed us to a limit and we will just give up on them. There are people who managed to stop but it seems it is all down to themselves, it doesn’t really matter what we say or what we do. If they want to do something to change they will. We all have realised since they didn’t care we had to care about ourselves although sometimes it can be hard, very hard. I guess we should turn this forum to how to make ourselves life greater and greater rather than focus on something that we can not control. Hope you have a good day! xx

[himbeere]

Hello glad we feel the same but of course not glad you are suffering too. Same here,it seems we are suffering when they are here and not here too. I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. I really try my best to be positive but right now I just feel I have nothing to look forward to, as he didn’t go to work for weeks so he had no holiday left to use, I was looking forward to having a holiday with kid as a family,but now seems not happening. I know my life shouldn’t be controlled by others but he is my husband, he is a big part of my life. But anyway I feel for you, we only can try to keep strong and try to be happy! Take care xx

[himbeere]

Hi how’s your day?

I haven’t had a talk with my husband yet as he was in bed the whole day yesterday ! He went to work today but I don’t know why I don’t feel happy about it, Because I still can not feel my husband coming back. I mean he went to work he is clean but I feel everything is depressing. I can not feel his love or apology or anything from him. We just do the every day routine. He went to work he came back we had dinner he watched tv, not a lot communication and I just feel I have nothing to look forward to. I don’t know if you have the same feeling when your husband is sober. I don’t know if it is me or it is the fact. But I know I feel quite low about it.

[himbeere]

I totally understand how you feel. Worrying all the time and check everything to see if they lied. It’s a terrible’ routine’.

Guess you had a little bit good news today as your husband resistance! And bit good news for me that my husband just came back home and he said he’s clean and it seems so. Well he went out to his mates to watch boxing which is very ‘ caring’ behaviour to me after everything happened recently! At least he’s home and he’s clean. Hope I will have a better day tomorrow. And you too! xx

[himbeere]

It sounds like your husband had a step ahead which is good. It seems all the stories of the addicts who decided to quit was because they hit the bottom and realised themselves. I’m not sure what is the the bottom for your husband or mine..

Well he said he would like to talk and back to work yesterday but today he’s gone again! The only difference is he said he would come back home tonight rather than disappeared. I hope he will come back home and we can have a chat tomorrow. But until right now he hasn’t come back home. I think he had it, maybe not as much as usual, if he didn’t have anything he wouldn’t go out.

[himbeere]

How’s your weekend? I thought my weekend would be better but I guess he had it again yesterday but this time I’m more calmed. I’m not going to lie I still feel sad but not as bad as each time. I try to focus on myself that’s the only opinion I have.

Have you done anything nice?

[himbeere]

Yes you are right. Last night he said he’s back to normal, he got sick note from doctors and really want to go back to work and he said he will have a good talk to me on Sunday. And he’s ready. I believed him as that’s something he never said to me. But I guess he had it again as he went out hiding although he said he would come back tonight.. thought he would get out of the cycle but clearly not. I guess nothing I need to do as there is not much point. It’s all down to him right?

[himbeere]

So happy for you! Just unfortunately most addicts still haven’t ‘ woke up’ to make the change.

My husband has been in bed 3 days now since came back home. Plus all the pain he caused, he now said he’s fed up with his life, fed up with me that’s why he took more? I never saw that coming as we were happy when he was clean. Is this a drug talk?

You are right, it is not something we can tell him to stop he needs to realise himself. So I may just stop saying anything.

I will take a look of your other post, if he wants to stop or he wants to be with me even. Run out of idea of what I can do to support. I recently think maybe if I’m being positive then I can influence him? Who knows

[himbeere]

Hi! I’m ok thanks. He has been in bed since he came back really. For me, something a little dramatic happened. I was so broken yesterday as he was in the mood but I didn’t want to tolerate his mood at all even I knew it could be after effect of coke. So I felt so so terrible and cried and cried. But weirdly last evening I suddenly felt good and realise why I rely myself’s happiness on others? I should be happy because I make myself happy not others. They shouldn’t affect me. I need to do anything to make myself happy and focus on myself and my daughter rather than anything else. If we meant to be together happily then we will. If not then that’s fate. I need to be positive of my life! I think we all should feel this way.

So yeah now my aim is to do anything to make myself happy. How about you? Did you have a good day? And how’s your husband?

[himbeere]

Thank you for your message. There is one more people here succeeded, which is always a good news! For me right now is really bad and I can not fee my husband want it that bad despite he keeps saying he knows he needs to change and has to. But so far no hope. Can I ask what made you really stopped, did you go to the meeting or ?

[himbeere]

Thank you all for your kindly reply. His uncontrolled movement lasted 7 hours last night! I wanted to phone the ambulance! I was worried, I think he is killing himself. This morning when I woke up he made such a mess in every room! Well I could understand due to his uncontrollable movements but as soon as I saw there were empty alcohol bottles I was so angry! After everything he still drank?! I really had enough. He pushed me to the limit. I can not see any future..

Hope you are all ok today xx

[himbeere]

Hi Dan hope you are keeping doing well on your journey.

can I ask you a question related to coke please? is compulsively spasming a sign of overdose? My husband had it today and it looks odd and a bit scary. He said it is not overdose it just happens. I don’t trust what he says. Do you know this?

[himbeere]

How’s your day? How’s your husband? Has he back to normal yet?

My husband just came back home after 5 days disappearing. I planned to tell him if he can’t give me some answers just not come back. But again softness stops me. And I can’t get much out of him while he’s on it anyway.. I don’t hold massively hope.

[himbeere]

So he only started 18months ago? My husband started to take it since he was a teenager, it was more like a going out thing but he never stopped..

Yes that’s what I hate, my husband never lied but when he’s on it the lies just so real, you can’t trust what he says nowadays. And yes even they are not out they just sit there like a zombie. No communication no nothing. So what’s the point at home. But saying that if he is not at home i still feel bad..

It’s definitely not your boring, it’s them in their own world and had not much feeling about others.

Does he work if he takes daily? My husband hasn’t been to work for weeks, I’m surprised he hasn’t got fired.

[himbeere]

How often does your husband normally do? My husband used to did it once every 3 weeks perhaps on average. But since last month he just has been disappearing taking it daily basis or if he had a ‘ break’ he just sleep.. so after everything, I just think what’s the point he comes home if he only came here for sleep and eat. He hasn’t been home for 4 full days now. Again broke the record. Somehow I feel bad but not that bad. I told him if he didn’t change I will leave..

Where is your husband now? Glad you had a good day at work, that’s what you need.

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