[himbeere]

Thanks for your encouragement. I guess it is just so hard to give up on our beloved ones. How about you? I didn’t see you write much about your experience.

[himbeere]

Sorry, he doesn’t use every 3 times a week. I meant to say once every 3 week..

[himbeere]

Hi I can totally feel every single word you write. We miss our normal life, rather than living in worry and sadness.

To be fair, my husband hasn’t never been this bad until recently. He normally does it every perhaps 3 times a week. And he did it at home and then went to his friends house for a night then came back the next day, then stayed in bed for a day then normal again. But since this 2 weeks he just lost control and stayed in hotel 5 nights altogether. He never went to hotel so that’s a new thing. I trust he was there on his own, for now anyway.

But because of this time, I can see the worse coming. I can’t imagine what will be like in the future. But perhaps I’m silly I can’t give him up yet.

He gave me all his bank cards last night and Today is Mother’s Day. He got up to make me breakfast for my daughter, and went back to bed to sleep. So a little bit normality came back. I don’t know what to expect I only know I need try to be positive for the sake of myself before I gone mental. And hope for the best. If he doesn’t change then I need to prepare for the worst.

How’s your husband now?

[himbeere]

I had a talk with him tonight, he said he didn’t mean what he said this afternoon. It was just him trying to escape the mess and now he is coming out of the effect of the drug gradually. He has to stop but probably better talk to him again about it in 2 weeks time, when his life is more back to normal, as currently it is just a mess. He said now he had no access to cash, as I got all his bank cards,then he just can’t get anything.I guess I need to take it slow and try to be positive. He said he would try the meeting, but I said I wouldn’t force him. I probably will mention it in a few days. I feel he took too much this week that his body can’t cope with it very well, even after 2 days, he is still not 100% him.

I live in midland but I doubt he would want to go anywhere but online one he might try.

Seems you are doing good this weekend. The dream was only a dream! So happy for you and your gf. Keep going!

[himbeere]

Hope you had a nice weekend so far. Mine certainly hasn’t been good. My husband woke up yesterday and said he was still not in the right mood he didn’t feel well due to the drug. So I waited for today to talk.

His mum messaged me this morning asked if everything is ok as hasn’t seen him for a while. I hate to lie for him but I can’t tell his mum of course not, she would break her heart. I was unhappy and tried to wake him up. To be honest after everything I can feel my mood swings. He then woke up, I just couldn’t wait any longer so I wanted to talk him about it. But I don’t know if it’s the drug or him, he said he’s tired of nagging , tired of everything, tired of life. He can’t give me the life I want. Perhaps He just leave me for good! Hearing that took me to the edge and broke my heart, I cried loudly. At the moment I just felt I really couldn’t copy with that..

Then he said his mind just like roller coaster. He knows he needs to stop. Everything is a mess at the moment. And right now he acts normally. He talks to me just like ‘ my real husband’. And handed in his bank cards to me.

But what he said to me couldn’t get out of my mind. Was it drug talk or him?

[himbeere]

Weirdly it seems he knows everything. But just not take it into action. I don’t know approach works for him, soft? Hard?

But yes I hope this weekend can be a better one, it has been an awful 2 weeks for me. You have a nice weekend too!

[himbeere]

Yes I need to speak to him. He just woke up but I can’t say much in front of my daughter. But I will speak to him tonight. If he is not trying hard then I know there is just no hope whatsoever, which I’m scared of.

Yes he has a well paid job, he is an engineer, but he hasn’t been to work for 2 weeks! Imagine he lost his job! I don’t know how much he spent on it. But this time definitely lots. Days out in hotel, drugs, taxi etc.

I guess your bad dream is because you heard too much of my stories. You will be fine. Have faithZ you are doing really well. I wish my husband could try as you do.

[himbeere]

He just came back home and looked terrible. He is suffering the very bad pain on his nose due to too much coke taken. He said he suffered this since yesterday, but how could he take more today since he was in that bad pain? I just took his cards. He said he’s in too much pain to talk today, will talk tomorrow. I let him.

I tell him hotel banned, will he listen? When the addiction comes, I guess everything means nothing.

Yes I’m too soft, even his friends say I did something even their wives wouldn’t do. I always think nice people would have nice return. But so far, all I got is pain. My ex husband cheated me and left me when my daughter was 1. My current husband is a drug addict. What’s wrong with my life.. I don’t have much luck with men do I? But anyway thank you for all your words. You seem a nice and caring person and I’m so happy for you to beat the devil. You should be proud of yourself!

[himbeere]

Thanks for asking. I sent him message saying I’m going to find him with my kid. And I was about to go. He replied saying don’t go, there is no point. He didn’t want me take my kid to drive around aimlessly ( he didn’t know I knew where he is I assume). He admitted he was not clean. He said he would like to change but it is just so hard. I don’t know why I turned from angry to calm and tried to offer help again.. he said he’s willing to try different method. But I learnt that when he is on it I shouldn’t trust anything he said. He said he is on taxi and is coming home.

I know I will need to be strict on him if he does come back and want to change. Perhaps I’m silly I just still seem to hold the hopes..

[himbeere]

He starts to make me angry now. Although it may be a bad idea but I am tempted to go to the hotel to find him. He is being so selfish now.

What would it happen do you think?

[himbeere]

of course not blame you, you helped a lot!

sad thing is, I don’t have any gut instinct. Feel lost, and not sure which direction to go. Every day is the same repeating without hope. But I will surely try my hardest to be positive for myself and my child. Perhaps time will give me an answer.

[himbeere]

Hi, how’s yours husband doing now?

I hope this thread can bring people some hope and positive feeling. but so far, I am not even positive .. despite I am trying hard.

We don’t know which method work for them, not shouting, not threatening, not spoiling them with love, then what is it? what is the correct answer?

so far, he is still not home, and I doubt I can get any answers from him. When I could get some answers then I guess my life would be easier.

Hope you are well. xx

[himbeere]

Yes talking people here and talk to you helps me. Thank you. You have replied me so many messages and gave me lots advise. (Ironically you sent me more message and support than my husband recently) Thanks a lot.

[himbeere]

I’m lost tbh. It’s not an easy decision to make and I don’t know what is the right decision tbh. At the moment all I do is force myself to be strong as I have a 6 years old kid.

I haven’t told any of my friends. I haven’t told anyone until he set up the WhatsApp group last Sunday. I have been suffering everything in my own. And glad now at least his friends know so I sort of feel I’m not alone. His friends just told me they went to hotels to find him and saw his car so I know where he is. But so what, I can’t do anything..

[himbeere]

I always stand on his shoes and find excuses for him. I’m perhaps too soft to him. He still replies my message a little. He says his world is not nice. But is my life currently nice because of him?

He has money, he has good job but he hasn’t been to work for days, he said he’s scared about work. He messed up. Then why not just be a man and sort it out?

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