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Thank you for explaining. He takes shit from certain people. We both put 100% into our relationship before the cocaine. We were a team, best friends, soul mates and we trusted each other totally. I still give my all. He is mean spirited, that is a good term for it. I will have to ask him why he takes it and I will listen to his reasons.
I’m the wife of a person that hasn’t got a problem with taking cocaine. His personality has totally changed toward me. He is unloving, uncaring, no interest in me or his once beloved pets and animals (I have to care for all of them now) He also has nothing to do with my mum who we lived with rent free for three years whilst renovating our home. He was close to her too and would do anything for her. He’s ok with his ‘coke friends’ and his family.
Is this the norm for someone that goes out gets hammered and takes at least four lines of coke on a night out. Can be more he says just depends. This happens about three times a week.
Is this what happens to those closest to an addict?
I think my husband has done a lot of damage to himself. In body I can see the ailments. In mind it is worse, he now takes more than four or five lines each time he goes out, up to three times a week. His personality has changed drastically from one extreme being a wonderful husband to the other being selfish and arrogant.
My husband doesn’t realise he has a problem. It’s me that sees the symptoms of the cocaine. He puts them down to……. it’s just a nose bleed, I have a cold, I have the flu…….I could go on and on. Excuses. I consider him to be an intelligent man so how can he not see?
It does help to vent my anger and its good to know that folk understand being in the same situation as myself.
I wouldn’t leave either. I will support him now and hopefully when he comes to the realisation that he has a problem.
I get so angry, I get angry when he’s at home and get angry when he goes out.
I have no peace.
I’m in the same boat too. Happily married to my soul mate, then he starts abusing coke and alcohol. Says and thinks he’s ok. I’m the one suffering he doesn’t see anything beyond his nose.
I love my husband more than anything in the world, but I’m afraid he’s dead and I grieve for my loss. It has been a constant struggle. He is no longer the man I married. I do hope the monster he has become disappears as quickly as he appeared and my wonderful husband is resurrected.
I too feel isolated as the majority of our friends don’t know. Family too, so I spent Christmas and the new year alone as we have not been able to have children.
I also go to work then home. It’s a miserable existence nowadays. I too have had to master the art of poker face.
I have a few close friends that I can confide in but I don’t tell them everything. I find being on here helps a hell of a lot. People that are going through the same thing can understand better. Plus I don’t have to hold anything back.
My husband was never selfish before. He put my wellbeing first, did everything he could for me and I did the same for him. We were a team, inseparable. Nothing changed for fourteen years. Then came the cocaine. This has changed him. He is a completely different person now he on this. Selfish is an understatement he can be bloody evil too with his words. No one outside of these four walls would believe me if I told them the truth.
You never know with them lot :0 but he came home four hours later and seemed ok.
He has gone out now. Problem is we have never stopped each other going out, never needed to. Now he would just go out anyway.
He’s feeling better now. Got the phone call and gone for breakfast with his coke mates. Now I’m anxious. He didn’t go out on Thursday, didn’t go out last night. Told them he was ill, at least he was telling the truth. But now he’s seeing them he will be getting that urge to go out tonight.
Sounds daft but you could try hypnosis. I was hypnotised to stop eating Cadbury chocolate. It worked I cannot eat the stuff anymore tastes nasty.
My sister is a heavy drinker too. Never less than six cans a day and anything else she can get her hands on.
She doesn’t get hungover. She will eventually kill herself, leaving her family behind. She doesn’t care.
Luckily I don’t live close by as she causes arguments.
Looks like you have started cutting down. That’s a start.
I think I’m probably skirting round the nagging wife phase. I have to wait for something to happen like you say either he doesn’t use as much or he takes too much and comes to his senses.
I do when we have a conversation remind him of past happy times. But conversations are few and far between now. Before the coke we would converse about anything all of the time.