[hox]

Tonight I have had a conversation with my husband about how much coke he uses.

He has admitted that he takes it once a week not three times when he goes out but here is the shocking news he can have more than four lines in one night………

I’m devastated as he really thinks he hasn’t got a problem.

[hox]

I wouldn’t be chosen, the coke would win hands down. I don’t think either of us is weak fighting for our loved ones but I would rather my husband be under the same roof because I am worried that he will overdose. Will anyone else look out for him I think not. He could die on someones sofa or crash his car, I’m dreading that knock on the door.

I think we will know when the time is right to be truthful with friends and family.

[hox]

I get angry too. No children are involved, we wanted them but its too late now. I try not to take on too much of his responsibilities but some things he refuses to do. I call a friend nearly every night and she really helps me to cope. Because of the anxiety I can only go to work, my mums and the local shop. I keep away from people as I don’t want to keep making excuses as to why he’s not about, I tell them he’s busy at work.

I suppose we really don’t know the implications until we are faced with it ourselves. It is so sad for all involved.

[hox]

You are not over reacting as it is now becoming more than recreational use for him. This is our worst issue and is as important as everyone else’s.

Do you think that coke is the root of the problem because it is for me.

My husband is the same. We have never held each other to times but when he says he’s going out for a couple of hours I expect him to be later, but not ten to fifteen hours later. He used to be back at at a sensible time when he was his normal self.

Twelve months ago he told me he was going to start staying in as he was wasting his weekends being hungover and not enjoying time with me. Which he was regretting. This was when he was on the one or two lines a year. He tried for a couple of months then started going out three times a week and not coming home. Six months later he had his personality change. He’s still on the three night week, how many lines of coke I don’t know. He has also driven home under the influence. Sleeps for a few hours when he returns and is then violently sick for the rest of the day. He also zones out watching the tv. Nothing is of interest he won’t even look after his dogs. That’s how bad he is. He doesn’t care one bit about anything other than ‘popping out’ to see his like minded friends and family, leaving me feeling like what the hell has happened to our wonderful, happy life.

I’m feeling low too, I understand far too well.

I feel like I need to try snorting a line so that I can forget my life and responsibilities and not give a hoot about anything and anyone. At least I’d be off my head and out of this misery.

[hox]

I accepted it too , not as a normal part of life but as a thing that his friends and some of his family do when on a night out or a night in at the home of some of his friends. I thought it was harmless to him like you say just a buzz.

My husband won’t spend any time with me. He ignores me as much as he possibly can. and can’t even look me in the eye. He too has no interest in anything that he previously did.

Before this change we honestly did not argue our lives to us were perfect. We rubbed along well, each of us easy going.

I appreciate you telling me as I have felt so alone and isolated throughout this. It does help. Have you told him to stop taking the coke for the sake of you both?

[hox]

Don’t lose your girlfriend and become a different person. I wish I had seen the signs so that I could have given him an ultimatum when he was ‘himself’ as he would have done anything for me then. I saw none, he hid it well.

He drinks every time he has coke.

He doesn’t think he has a problem as he has previously told me that coke does nothing for him. I cannot understand how he does not know that coke is the reason why he has changed as a person. Why do you take it if it does nothing for you? I’m at a loss.

[hox]

I understand. My husband doesn’t realise he has a problem. Four days off three on the cocaine and alcohol.

He has a constant runny and sore nose, saying he has a cold or flu. He also says he’s tired but like your son he isn’t depressed or anxious. He is suffering from stress.

I am heart broken and also so angry with him for ruining our lives. I haven’t slept properly for six months. At the beginning all sorts of things were going through my mind like ending it all as I couldn’t face what he was doing. I also thought of taking all of my anti depressants so I fully understand your pain. I also realise now that I cannot make him stop but I have to be here if he ever needs me.

[hox]

My husband is the same. He has a totally different personality. A loving, family man has now turned into a……. ” I’m a big boy, It’s my life and I can do what I want”

After years of not being tempted to abuse cocaine even in the company of friends that are regular users, he is now doing so. With the addition of alcohol.

My life has been in turmoil for seven months and its heart breaking for me.

I share my problems with a few close friends but I feel so isolated. Family do not know.

[hox]

I don’t want to lose the most important person in my life. But I feel I have. He has no interest in me even though before we couldn’t be apart. He says that he feels like a different person and he is. The person I love is no longer there.

He used to drink alcohol occasionally with his cocaine taking friends. Each to his own we used to say regarding the drug use. He used to say that he had a line occasionally when out to join in and that it didn’t do anything for him. But after a stressful time involving a looming court case he has been drinking more regularly, with these friends. Three times a week, he stays out all night, coming home reeking of booze but not looking hungover, sleeping a couple of hours and then throwing up all day. I now know he is now doing coke himself.

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