Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I feel it with you.
Married for fourteen wonderful years to my best friend and soul mate. Recreational use, probably once, twice a year if that. I didn’t actually realise until my ‘husband’ changed into a monster.
I’m still struggling now after over a year. Its not easy and I too miss my husband but he isn’t my husband anymore the cocaine has taken him.
Look after yourself, keep strong.
I’m glad you are getting something positive out of your meetings. I have been to the docs and got anti depressants they are helping and I’m going to CBT therapy in a few weeks time. This addiction affects us all.
I was hoping he would return to his old self but it hasn’t happened. He was actually using up until he was imprisoned.
I feel for you not having your mum and dad here to support and help you both in all of this. This forum has been a life line for a lot of us and folk do understand. Especially when you feel isolated and alone.
It’s an awful situation when all you want to do is make him see that alcohol is affecting your lives and he cannot see it and won’t listen to reason.
Alcohol doesn’t solve problems it only masks them.
Hello All.
I look at peoples posts and think we were there not long ago. Looking for answers, trying to get our heads round what was happening in our once happy lives.
‘Husband’ is now detained at HMP.
Twinkle, it’s hard but you have to stop borrowing money to enable him. Do you have to accept calls at work from him as this then ruins your day. It’s awful him taking your money, you work hard for it.
Does your husband not work? Does he want help with his addiction? Or does he think there isn’t a problem like with most of us.
Don’t lose your job, home and sanity through all of this.
I understand about overburdening friends. Like you say only so much. I’m in the same position, so I come on here.
Your wonderful home is your safe haven surrounded by good neighbours that is lovely and something to focus on. Could you also focus on work and not juggle it around your husband? Anxiety comes to mind. Make it all about you, make it all about your lovely home and keeping a roof over both your heads.
Has your husband seen the doctor?
Hi Elaine. It’s not a nice thing having to cope with the situation. Have you had the conversation about abstaining from the alcohol? He seems to be aware of the repercussions and the upset it is causing you.
You are not alone Twinkle.
You have a lot to contend with regarding your husbands addiction and the loss of your parents. Have you any close friends that you can confide in?
Drinking only makes me depressed so I find it better to abstain whilst going through my own problems. Suicide can sometimes feel in our darkest moments the only way out to end our pain and heartbreak but you have something you love your husband. Your other half, your soul mate.
You need to seek help yourself. Have you been to see your doctor?
It’s not about payback.
It’s all about the coke. It is all he is interested in, coke comes first. All I can say is when they say they have moved on it is that they have chosen the cocaine and not the life they were living before. In fact they are not the same person they were before.
The cheating if he has you will probably never know. You will make yourself ill worrying about him.
Remember they lie and manipulate to get what they want.
In my opinion. When you got in touch and agreed to meet up he thought he’d got his meal ticket back. Then when you realised you weren’t ready, even though it’s his fault that you are not together, he told you a classic line for cocaine addicts. ‘I don’t want to be with you, you need to move on’
You haven’t hurt him through this, he has hurt you. He will do your head in with the manipulation and you will never be told the truth of what he’s doing.
Keep strong.
You cannot help him, he needs to help himself. He is an addict and will lie and manipulate to get what he wants, cocaine.
It looks like he as taken everything from you. Your health, your home, everything and he’s still not happy. He wants you to support him through his hard times. What about your hard times?
It looks like nothing matters other than the drink and the coke and you there to support him with the money he needs to buy it.
Be good to yourself.
My ‘husband’ swore on his dads life that he hadn’t taken cocaine for four years when I asked him. He had so many symptoms. I tell ya swearing on his dads life. He thought that by doing this I would wholeheartedly believe him.
Cocaine turned him into a manipulative liar. My cousin was horrified when I told him, all he could say was ‘he’s lying’
I too thought my ‘husbands’ cocaine use was recreational. As you say everyone does it now. (except for a few of us)
Before this it was once, twice a year max. It only, in my opinion takes a stressful situation like my ‘husbands’ trial for him to take it to the extreme. Drinking to excess, sniffing and making himself really ill. It made him feel depressed which he certainly had never been before, he was such a happy contented bloke. Always smiling.
No more though, his choosing to use coke and this causing paranoia have ruined our happy lives. I’m now left to cope.
Your boyfriend has to want to stop himself, only he can do this. You really need to take care of yourself through your pregnancy without the stress because it will make you ill.
Hopefully he will come to his senses and all can be made well. Until he does look after yourself.
Dunna blame ya. Viva Espana.