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I didn’t notice that my ‘husband’ had a problem with addiction till his personality changed. I thought his so called recreational use of cocaine wasn’t an addiction and he certainly didn’t. I feel stupid know not realising.

They lie and manipulate telling you they are not sniffing, but the tell tale signs are there. Trouble is you cannot help until they want you to. It’s heartbreaking.

[hox]

Wise words from thelostone.

Keep well and stay strong.

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You are not paranoid I’m afraid.

‘Husband’ was sometimes loud and over the top when he came home after a night out on the alcohol and cocaine. The constant sniffling was always there.

I’m happy that you have contact with your son again but unhappy for you with the circumstances of his return. This addiction is awful.

I wish you well.

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Update. I had a phone call from a slurring, looking for an argument sister. I’ve now found out that two weeks ago she had a relapse. Her husband understands it’s a relapse and that it could happen. Looks like its happened again, she has missed some AA meetings and these are crucial for keeping her on the straight and narrow.

Not a happy ending yet I’m afraid.

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There are a lot of us in the same situation. Before finding this forum I felt totally alone and unable to talk about what was truly happening.

If detaching yourself for self preservation works do it. We have to try to look after our own wellbeing too whilst worrying about the ones we love. Sadly they do not think about us whilst they are drinking, sniffing cocaine and not bothering going to work. Mine was burying his head in the sand and not dealing with a prison sentence looming.

I’m now trying to deal with the debt that ‘husband’ has left me. Plus juggling paying bills and the mortgage myself. It is exhausting.

I wish you both well.

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You are not being dramatic.

I used to be worried about my ‘husbands’ alcohol and cocaine binges. I actually though one day he would die whilst coming down. He’d come home high and smelling of drink. he would try to sleep it off then he’d start with the sneezing, the nosebleeds, the vomiting blood, constant headaches and aching bones. He used to say he had flu but you couldn’t have flu for ten months or so.

The only thing is he wasn’t bothered about his own health.

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I can understand fully all the emotions you are going through. Cocaine can ruin lives.

My ‘husband’ used to sniff the dreaded stuff staying out all hours and coming home drunk and high. The following day was wasted.

You made me smile about the food shopping. I hate food shopping but ‘husband’ always made it fun. In fact everything was fun before.

Now I feel anger like I’ve never known it. I could easily smash the house up. No word of a lie. I’m stressed, agitated and anxious all of the time. It has become a sad and lonely life.

I too hate seeing people enjoying their lives because we used to have a happy life. Now I resent ‘husband’ I thought I was cried out but over the last few days I’ve been wobbling. You are not alone, I know exactly how you are feeling.

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Hi Goose.

My ‘husband’ was the same as you.

He eventually gave up going into work. On rare occasions he’d manage it.

He used to love his job, he was self employed and I would love to see him walk out the door in a morning with a spring in his step. Then return with a smile on his face.

That changed when he turned to alcohol and cocaine.

He had hobbies that he loved too, not anymore. Nothing seems to compare.

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Hi Goose.

This forum is where to turn. It does help if you want it to.

It has helped me when I thought I was the only one that had a husband that reacted this way to taking cocaine. Everyone else was having a good time in his circle of friends and didn’t seem to have the problems with the come downs that he was experiencing.

You say that in the week when you have come down ‘that’s it no more’ can I ask why you say you want no more?

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It’s worth a try Dan. It worked on me.

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I couldn’t talk to family or friends either, I wanted to keep it quiet.

I found that he didn’t care about anything the alcohol and coke came before my feelings. I found my husband would try to manipulate me and would lie which was completely out of character.

You can tell him how you are feeling but it won’t make him stop. He has to want to stop using. My ‘husband’ didn’t think he had problem never mind an addiction to the stuff. Stopping wasn’t an option at the time.

I do understand only too well.

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I think that’s the right way to go, outings with the kids and gf only and no alcohol of course.

Have you thought about hypnotism?

I was hypnotised to not like the taste of chocolate. It worked but only on Cadbury’s chocolate as that was the type that I was focusing on at the time. This was about two years ago and I still can’t bring myself to eat it.

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You know these bank holidays can cause havoc just the same as parties and any other celebrations. Come on Dan, we know you will feel gutted but we can learn from this. You do so well and give support to so many off us.

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Same here once or twice a year, then he got greedy.

I too felt like I was married to a completely different person, unrecognisable. It was shocking the changes in him.

My husband too would sleep all day after his all night sessions.

I don’t think you are playing the victim at all, you are suffering through all of this. I found support on here when I had nowhere else to turn. People that understood what I was going through.

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It sounds like he’s still on it. My ‘husband’ told me that he was embarrassed sniffing coke. It didn’t stop him though, he just did it when I wasn’t there or in another room.

‘Husband’ was constantly complaining he’d got flu. Sneezing, runny rose, nose bleeds, constantly on the toilet with blood in his stools. Head aches and aching bones…….

It was the court case that changed his habit though. He told me that he was focusing on negative thoughts and he would go out get drunk to forget his troubles. The coke would come out so that he could stay out all night.

Has your hubby had something happen for him to up his usage or is it the friends he chooses to be around?

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