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I think im past how your feeling hes turned into such a horrible person and turns everything round on me. Its as if i just have to get over these things and accept it but me and my children deserve more hes honestly turned into a waste of space
Im completely with both of you on this. Before i found out about my partners addiction i was besotted. We had just got engaged.
Since everything, all the lies and the broken trust and the accusations and the staying in bed etc. I feel like i dont even know and feel exactly like you said cheated on.
Its the same feeling. Hes been sleeping on the sofa, im just so resentful towards him. Im not sure it can ever go back now. He thinks I should just get over it now hes clean and i cant!
Hi i can relate to you completely. My partner told me he had an addiction to cocaine at xmas. He has been therapy sessions for 3 weeks and then stopped going. He has told me hes been clean since but i cant trust him 100% He went to the drs and is also getting help for his depression. Although i am pleased he has done these things im so hurt for all the lies he has told and for ruining what we had. That was 5 months ago, and if anything i feel worse now than before now its all sunk in. Our relationship hangs in the balance, i have so much anger towards him so that definitely has an affect on how things are. Not sure things will ever be back how they were before. Is this how you feel?
Im exactly the same. He used to be a caring person and always making people laugh, thats the things i love about him but they aren’t there anymore. He has also told so many lies, about allsorts usually money. Its so upsetting and frustrating.
My partner is also on antidepressants since xmas and they have helped him a little. I dont think he is still using buy who knows i cant 100% trust him now. He says horrible things, things that i didnt think he could ever say. Do yoi find this too?
Cant thank you enough. I cant give much advise on the drugs side of things but if you ever need me to listen im here. Thank you x
I can believe that. I just need to find the strength to deal with all of this. Which is something im struggling with hes wore me down that much over time.
Thank you again for replying and for your honesty
Yes i agree, its no life either way. I would have trusted him with my life, no i find myself looking through his pockets and wallet. It what it does to you isnt it! Iv shouted at him before and said things back when hes said things to me. I wouldnt have ever done that either, but it how its getting me. I dont want to be that person, so then i feel angry with myself for getting like that.
Yeah I understand what your saying, the only thing that makes me think he isnt is because of being in lockdown and him not having any money. All the signs are there. His nose is always running, always has done. Blames it on hayfever. When he blows his nose he had pieces of mucusy flesh that comes out (i know that sounds awful)
I have thought about buying tests, but then i just think really should i even be having to do random drug spot checks on my partner its no way to live is it. When i said about the sessions he went to 3 in 2 months so missed 5. Lied about going to one, actually went out the house and everything. The woman who did the sessions came knocking on the door for him wondering why he hadnt been. He never went back.
Thank you. I know he owes £4000 which hes been paying. And i know hes got a huge hole in his nose when i discovered it i cried my eyes out.
He seems to think because hes ‘clean’ now everything can be normal but the damage is already done and when hes continues to lie, it just makes things even worse if thats possible. Sorry for ranting to you, I appreciate you have taken time to message me.
The thing is i dont think he is using but the signs do say otherwise. I thought i would have known if he did it again after last time. Especially in lockdown.
Thank you for your advice, i have ignored my gut all way along and i think its time i need to listen. Its like hes a leech. He drains everything. Hes never got money even tho worked full time before lockdown always borrowing off someone or owing someone, he lost all my no claims on my car insurance, any change round the house he takes it, i pay all the bills and food most of the time. Saving for anything together would never happen. Hes also having a huge problem with snoring is that related to drug use?
Thank you what you have said makes so much sense. I find myself crying because hes just so cold hearted, hes horrible. But he does have times where he seems to go between being 2 different people. He say im ridiculous for still being upset about it when hes clean. Thing is he might not be using but hes still not very nice the motivation is still not there infact its worse than ever his mood and comments.
Iv already had all of that. Im the crazy one, and that hes ok now and im the one that needs help because i cant just get over it. Could understand if he had been clean for 5 years but its been months maybe less if hes used behind my back again. Denied it to my face then said he had to take drugs to be with me! Always turning things around. Did your partner just slob about all the time? He’s literally got zero motivation whethers hes using or not he only gets up if hes forced to half the time.
Thank you i appreciate that. I just keep thinking back to a year ago when we got engaged. He was so loving he would have done anything for me and our family he must have been using at the time as i didnt know about this then. But he was still a much nicer person. Its only since me knowing and challenging him about things that this behaviour has spiralled. A year ago he would have been furious if anyone spoke to me the way he speaks to me now x
Thank you so much. Everyone had always told me im a strong person, and i thought i was. But this i having a huge affect on how i feel. Even if he isnt using i cant get over everything thats happened in the past ( i say past it was only xmas he accessed help and that soon stopped)
He thinks im just angry bitter and twisted, he doesnt understand that he has caused it all.
I agree with you about the complete loss of emotions, he was such a loving kind person i dont even recognise that in him anymore. He is cold and his comments are unkind. Often critical and accusing me of things. Very rarely gets out of bed before lunch. I have known him sleep on a friday evening and get up on a sunday and not even get up to urinate.
Thank you for your honesty. I have only just started speaking out because i had got to a point where i was so hurt and upset and angry inside it was/is changing who i am as a person. Like i said i dont think he is still using, but can never been 100% because of the trust issues we now have. But he still isnt the person he was. He spends half the time sleeping. Your right it is devastating which ever way you look at it. It breaks my heart to think that what once was, is just gone now. Abd the alternative is to put up with this awful situation until or if something changes.
Hes said and done some awul things, it really is soup destroying when i love him like i do xx