[indigo]

hi there i have just read ur story and felt i had to write this to you…. my partner is an addict and we have two beautiful children together. he has suffered from addiction since before we met and i knew this was the case when we met. being young and thinking i could handle it at the time. (sometimes i think what was i thinking but i guess i was drawn to him as he is a wonderful person and incredibly talented and very funny and loving) and i believe that we were meant to have been together and have our wonderful children too. anyway over the past 8 years we have been together he has been in and out of treatment, been to rehab in and out of meetings etc and has had periods of sobriety. of late things have got so bad that we have had to separate and he is living with hbis parents until he can find a place of his own as he needs to focus on his recovery right now as being at home with us is not allowing him to do that as he is not in a plce where he can handle the responsibility of a family life…..i had to be really strong and insist on this as after all the lies and money problems and total unhappiness i personally cannot take it any more. our children cannot take the instability any more and they deserve a stable life and even though they miss him not being here we are able to maintain the stability without the added stress of all the stuff that goes with addiction. like the lady said above they will only stop and get clean when they want to and no none else should have to be responsible for thaty, you are fighting a losing battle. you have to be strong and put your children and yourself first as all the while you are mopping up the trail of destruction of addiction you will not allow them to take responsibility for themselves. and you will continue to suffer. its very hard and i know exactly what you are going through as do many others on here but believe me u have to take control of your own life and be responsible for only what you can. you are powerless over their addiction and with all the will and love and blood sweat and tears in the world you cannot make them stop and with all the love they have for their loved ones it is not enough to make them stop. it has to come from their will to change their lives and stop using. and as u probably already know they feel so much pain and sorrow themselves and also cannot understand why they continue to use even though everything around them is falling apart but until they reach a point of absolute rock bottom and find the courage to face their addiction and take responsibility u can all but just decide right here that you will just do what is best for you and your children. it is possible for an addict to find recovery and stay clean as i have witnessed it myself many times so there is hope. please do not lose hope. when we stop feeding the victim cycle and we opt out of being a victim to the suffering things start to change we start to change we gain strength and we gain focus and then as the ripple effect takes place, so they see change is possible and things by the law of nature start to change. we as human beings have infinite potential and we have the power to manifest in our lives what it is that we desire, we just have to believe we can.

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