[itspjay]

‘People places and things’ it’s very important in addiction to avoid triggers such as people around him using he should get out of there it will only make life harder if he stays in the same place , however i to moved around but I always brought the same head so until he addresses what’s going on in his head nothing will change.

As for being scared my own mother admits she cried herself to sleep not knowing if I would survive but had she not detached I wouldn’t be were I am today, my current partner has made it clear one slip up and she’s out for her and her child’s sake and I accept that as mentioned in my story I picked up a painkiller habit over the last 2 years after getting sober it’s been 4 days tommorow and a day after I decided to get clean she suggested a separation purely down to the fact she didn’t not want to be there if I died.

Addiction is ruthless it will destroy everything in its way and everyone around it, your not alone and nor is he talking is healing I personally don’t have a sponsor but I keep in touch with a drug councillor who has helped me even the likes of this forum when something is spoke about like this it helps.

I actually wanted to share my story to help me focus on my own recovery again and by conversing with you it’s helped me get through another day now that’s proof alone it’s possible you have a huge decision you either detach or you hang in there but if he does not get that wake up call I can assure you he won’t change the pain we can carry is severe because we self medicate and we don’t feel it but it does get to a stage it gets to much and that’s when an addict decides to change think about it don’t be a crutch and don’t allow addiction to ruin both of your lives he can change and it does happen what your doing is healing but he has a lot of work to do himself don’t be soft on him it’s important you remain super strong for you to

[itspjay]

Thankyou so much for reading my post, I will respond to you as transparent and honest as possible as an addict myself,

It took me a long time to understand empathy and gratitude no matter how much people tried to help I physically did not possess the ability to feel love or to have gratitude for those around me a good way to put it is addiction completely blinds an addict addiction is all we care about regardless if half the world wanted to help until we ourselves want change it’s never going to happen.

A man once told me in rehab ‘rock bottom has a trap door’ and it’s true no matter how hard I fell it kept getting worse and worse there’s multiple reasons why eventually I wanted to change but a big big turning point was when I had no one I am only sharing from my own experience but eventually I had nobody I was alone and that’s what sparked that drive to want to better myself for me not for anyone else but me and that was important before I could love anyone else I had to love me, addicts are in pain we numb pain and quite often we don’t like ourselves or we don’t love ourselves so how can we love anyone else, so it was when I had no one but me I begun fighting for my life back.

I lost it all now I have it all back, and some I am not perfect yet I have a long way to go but I come along way, as for rehab in Ireland there were several charity run rehabs which helped me I found rehabs rarely turn an addict away despite financial position, however you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink it! I crawled into rehab the last time I was so desperate but my first time I went to please others, it takes so much work but don’t lose hope my family often said they ‘detached from me with love’ they couldn’t allow my addiction to destroy them too, my current partner and I couldn’t physically be together during my active addiction we spoke for 2 years but being together was impossible when I got sober we met and 3 years later I am living with her in my life addicts are the most resilient strong people I know I am sending my prayers for you both!

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