[jadeem]

Your situation is exactly the same as mine it’s scary! I used to find the person he was driving around in my house sometimes after work it was awful. This has been going on for 2 years now and probally about £5000 later he has agreed he has a problem and is now on anti depressants and getting help from CA meetings. All I can say is you are not at all crazy, the things they do make us become almost detective and trying to control everything because we’re so worried about them doing it time and time again. Talk to frank are really helpful and can give advice on places near you that can offer Counciling. I hope you feel slightly better that your not alone and I know how you feel!

[jadeem]

Hi Annie, sounds like you’re having a really tough time. The coke is one thing but the cheating must feel a lot worse. And you’re right it’s due to the coke that he did this- sadly they make really bad choices.

Never feel like you have to stay with him because he has no one else, you need to think about yourself and your daughter. Has he made any attempts to get help? Or admitted it is an issue?

Stay strong xx

[jadeem]

So sorry you’re going through this.

Unfortunately they always make out we have a problem or are acting out when really it’s only because of the things they do!

What help has he been offered? My partner is currently doing CA meetings and they seam to be helping change his mindset.

Stay strong x

[jadeem]

I’ve just read your story after you replied to mine. So similar! But I am so happy for you that you are both in a better place now and he got the help he needed. It’s sad when you watch someone waste their life who you care about. X

[jadeem]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling the same. I was in a very very sad place and I came across this forum and related so much to other people’s situations. I decided to post as I felt I was loosing my mind slightly but it’s just the effects of being with an addict. Maybe you can share you’re experiences one day. Is your partner getting help or accepting it’s an issue at all? Stay strong x

[jadeem]

Thank you for replying, is also feel I’ve lost myself- I try to control every single situation but reading other people’s story’s and actually talking is helping me. So your partner has changed? Did he do this himself or with help. My partner has just started CA meetings and seams to feel very positive about them. He’s currently 1 month clean

Xx

[jadeem]

So sorry your in the same situation as me.

My partner has stopped running around with the drug dealers but this does still happen from time to time. And sometimes I lay awake until 4am and he won’t answer his phone. Have you tried to suggest to your partner to get help? Mine is on antidepressants now and is on the list of Counciling but i struggle to see it will change. X

[jadeem]

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[jadeem]

Thank you David.

I have been with him for 5 years now. First 3 years were great. No kids.

That’s hit the nail on the head I do feel like a detective and 99% of the time i do find something out.

[jadeem]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Similar situation here. There is nothing worse than when they go out and do not make any contact. Has he referred himself to any Counciling. I can recommend talk to frank they are really helpful and can find local support

[jadeem]

Also forgot to add that not every time this happens he tells the truth we usually spend days arguing about the fact that I think he sniffed cocaine and then find out three days later that he actually had he just didn’t wanna tell the truth. Also last year he ran up a £2000 debt with a local drug dealer for cocaine which I helped him pay.

[jadeem]

After reading this I can relate totally. Minus the children your partner sounds the same as mine. All I can say is you sound like a lovely person and you really don’t deserve this. I’d love to sit here and write you need to leave but I probably need to do the same!

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