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So, here we are, no change. He continually asks or money for food/electricity/petrol to get to work and still lives with his girlfriend. A fortnight ago I told him I had had enough and could no longer fund him. He quickly ditched his girlfriend and said he was coming home to sort himself out. He stayed a couple of nights and I presume he has gone back to his girlfriend. He harasses me everyday for money, why do I fall for his lies? He needs new tyres for the car I bought so he could get to work !! Etc etc! He came back home, his Grandad (aged 95 is missing 700 pounds) and my purse has disappeared. I now have a text message (I froze my bank cards) saying an attempt to spend 265 pounds was declined yesterday. How on earth do I get out of his situation? I have threatened suicide and my Doctor has put me on medication. How do I get out of this mess?
So nothing has changed really, it’s gotten worse. He moved out in November to live with his girlfriend, so now I’m keeping them both. He’s definitely more manipulative and threatening, he tells me to just give him the money and he will leave me alone. I will have 10/12/15 missed calls in a matter of minutes if I don’t answer the phone. He owes my husband £900 for his mobile phone bills. My husband had a heart bypass in January and I was targeted mercilessly for money on a daily basis, looking back between £600 and £1000 per week, all my savings have gone and I’m accumulating an overdraft. He managed to get a new job in December via an Agency and they have now offered him a permanent job but he phones me every day because he has no money for fuel to get to work, electricity, food etc. He knocked the door at home an hour ago saying he had taken an overdose the previous night, had lost all his money on a payday loan, could I give him money? I said I couldn’t.I did hope he would keep his job but I don’t hold out much hope.
Well here we are, 2 years since I replied to this post. I’ve spent another 2 years pretending everything is OK. I’ve just come back from 2 weeks holiday and my son has taken nearly £5,000 out of my bank. He tells me he’s getting a loan to pay me back, all lies, he appears to have lost his job 3 weeks ago, even today he phoning me up for money. Why do I give it to him? I’m so ashamed of him and it is like I don’t want to admit he sees me as a source of income, has he no morals, no shame? When I was ill with Covid he stole my credit card and racked up another £1,000 debt but he said I gave him the card, after that £3,000 on another card. His last payday he picked up nearly £2,000:but was asking me for money a week later. I want to do something to stop him. Can I take out an injunction to prevent him contacting me? Has anyone any advice? I am starting to get frightened of him as I get older
Well I just don’t know how much longer I can take it. My son just lies and manipulates continually. He claims his methadone is insufficient to ‘hold’ him and is buying it on the black market to keep himself comfortable. Apparently his Substance Misuse Team are looking for offices so he can’t get an appointment to increase his methadone. He tries to get £70 off me at least 3 times per week, even though he is working. His Dad was an alcoholic, now I’ve got a drug addict for a son, I’ve been truly blessed. Ten years of suffering for me and I’m getting older and more vulnerable. I’m tempted to shop him when he goes off in my car to buy heroin. How can I get him out of my life because I realise I can’t stop him doing drugs or sort this out for him. It’s time I thought abut me.
I’m sorry to hear of your situation with your daughter, it’s a tricky one. My son has been an addict for about 10 years, he uses heroin, gets onto a methadone programme, starts reducing the methadone then we go back to stage one. He steals and manipulates me for money, I can’t see an end to it. I dread waking up every day, he has made it my problem, he steals from his Grandad then denies everything. His room is a cess pit full of rubbish, needles and other drug paraphernalia but he denies he is using. If I’m honest I wish he would disappear off the planet. They say drugs ruins families, well it’s certainly ruined mine. I go through all sorts of scenarios to stop him, do I kick him out? Shop him to the Police? Go and see a Solicitor to get an injunction to keep him away from me? What worries me is that, I’m now 61, over the next 10 years I will become more vulnerable to his manipulation. Like you I have blamed myself, his Dad was an alcoholic so I shouldn’t have had a child who inherited the addiction gene, at the end of the day he’s the one who started injecting himself, like me you are not to blame.