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You sound similar to what I’ve gone through for the past 6 yrs w my husband! My husband would tell me that he only started using again because things were bad between us- HE AWLAYS BLAMES SOMEONE ELSE! I ALWAYS HAD TO CATCH HIM BEFOEE HED EVER TELL ME THE TRUTH! I lost it when he brought it into the house where our children live!!!
I cannot live life like this always questioning its driving me insane! I have to end this otherwise my kids will grow up around an addict! I believe it’s better to walk away and have him deal with the poor choices than to continue to help him for the 1,000 time. I’m choosing to have a better life for my children than to allow him to think he can drive them around in the car high on cocaine (which I had to catch him literally with a spy camera) to even get him to admit he messed up! He was caught on a tiny camera I placed in the car showing him snorting cocaine multiple times while my kid was strapped in car seat in the back. You can hear our kid say”daddy what are you doing”? It’s so sad it breaks my heart but I cannot have this. I need to take a stronger stance and report this to his work and get a divorce.