[jaz051]

Hello everyone.

I am sad again because i relapse again on friday 12.11.2021. I was again exactly one month sober till this date and i just feel bad. I was on a little party with co workers and i was telling myself all day before party that i cant drink nothing-not even one drink because i know myself (one drink is than two and then is cocaine…) but i dont know why i did it-it was just that bored feeling when i was near everyone who was drinking just i was sober… So i drink one beer then another and after third i ofcourse get that strong cocaine craving. One good things is i just took 0.5 gram what is not really what i do because i always thinking that it will run out tok fast. I must say i feel bad but if i look at other side i do better than last time so at one point i am a bit proud of myself because i can stop and didt snort 5gs again. I know it sound stupid but its a lot for me because i never ever snort that little always big amounts. So i dont really feel so depressed now 3 days later i fell okay. Hope god give me power to overcome this shit. I will pray for all of you thanks. Jaz

[jaz051]

Hello!

So today its 3 weeks sober again i fell good hitting gym and sauna every day really help to get my cravings under control 🙂 i like to stay busy so i dont really think about drug. When cravings come usually takes for a minute or two so its nothing serious but is intense i must say that it is. I just remember the good filing of cocaine but then think about all bad that comes with it and it go away. I pray everyday too it helps very much. Hope you are good all and for everyone who struggle i must say you can do it. Thanks bye????

[jaz051]

Hello!

So its almost two weeks again and i feel great seriou

[jaz051]

Hello!

So its day 3 clean again. I fell good today and i am motivated for starting again. I forgive myself and i will go further i delete all numbers and contact from…. I will update weekly how my jurney going. I am just really scared of withdrawal symptoms again i knoe how horrible it was. Paranoia and not seeing any light in life is something that put me down the most. Hope i will be okay. Thank you again bye bye

[jaz051]

Hello everyone!

So i am really sorry to write that but i relapse on the same day i write this topic. I am so ashamed and fell down. I snort 5 grams again in two days with plenty of alcohol. I jutr cant get my cravings that day under control and i call the dealer. I thinking about going into reto center in spain for one year but dont really know how because i still have loans around 8k euros. We will see what will come out of this situation but i think i cant do it myself

[jaz051]

Hello!

Thanks for your reply it means a lot to me. Yeah i try to stay positive but is very hard because i just feel useless. I have around 8k debt too i own to bank because my habit which i can pay off in 2022 and than start saving and getting my shit together because i am young i think- i can have beautiful life if i really stop now or disaster if i keep doing it(i have really bad suicide thoughts when i comming down from cocaine every time i use it) so i am scared i will harm myself if i dont quit. Thanks again and good day!

[jaz051]

Hello danman83

I wrote this posts a bit early:

Hello everyone!

I am 21yr from slovenia europe. I use cocaine for past 4 years every weekend and in big amounts usualy from friday night till sunday morning and then was not able to sleep for whole day so getting sleep just on saturday was something regular to me. I am now one month clean and its hell i have really bad depression and suicide thoughts i really dont know how to go further in my life. I want to ask people who go thrue same situation- when will i feell better? It really can take one year before i get my feelings and emotion back? I fell so bad i can not describe. I do not crave cocaine just dont see any light in my life its just emptines. Thanks for your help and support.

And someone comment that i should read your posts- that you are someone battling same stuff than i do. I have just a question for you about cocaine withdrawal- hoe long will i feel so damn bad? I really dont have any motivation for further life really. Thank you for your answear!! Jaz

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