Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Thank you keskin , i am trying soo hard with him . I sometimes think let him go die and deal with it himself because he can be very abusive towards me sometimes and say nasty things to me.
I nearly threw him out of the house again . I took a deep breath and told myself we are in this together and he needs my support so i let the abuse go and he did apologise. He told me if i had thrown him out then that would have made him turn to drugs and alcohol more.
Well he is behaving at the moment so let’s see.
Hi ladies ..
we all seem to be in the same boat .. fighting a battle.
Sometimes i think to myself is this even my fault , obviously not , so why am i having to suffer aswel as him.
If i leave my husband he would never ever leave drugs and alcohol. He will only get worse .
Hi ladies ..
we all seem to be in the same boat .. fighting a battle.
Sometimes i think to myself is this even my fault , obviously not , so why am i having to suffer aswel as him.
If i leave my husband he would never ever leave drugs and alcohol. He will only get worse .
Thank you soo much for sharing .
Im pretty much on the same scale as you .
My husband has cut down massive and has started spending more time at home with family and that’s mainly because i did put my foot down and i left him .
When we got back i told him straight im not putting up with his shit and il even help him come off the drugs and alcohol.
So we started small by him taking a little and occasionally only .
He stays home so i know what is going on .
We have a baby together and i make sure he is around to help out and keep his mind off drugs and alcohol.
He hasn’t come off drugs fully yet but he has cut down.
I too suffer from mental health problems obviously due to his negativity in my life .
I’ve learnt to cope with it over the years but if it gets worse im ready to leave him .
Thank you soo much for sharing .
Im pretty much on the same scale as you .
My husband has cut down massive and has started spending more time at home with family and that’s mainly because i did put my foot down and i left him .
When we got back i told him straight im not putting up with his shit and il even help him come off the drugs and alcohol.
So we started small by him taking a little and occasionally only .
He stays home so i know what is going on .
We have a baby together and i make sure he is around to help out and keep his mind off drugs and alcohol.
He hasn’t come off drugs fully yet but he has cut down.
I too suffer from mental health problems obviously due to his negativity in my life .
I’ve learnt to cope with it over the years but if it gets worse im ready to leave him .
Hi Ash2013 can you please advise us how your other half has done soo well for 2 years
Hi guys , sorry for the late reply . Hope you all are keeping well.
Jj11 if your man is hopping about from one women to the next women to enable his behaviour then that should tell you he doesn’t love or care about anyone more than his addiction comes 1st and also that should tell you he can’t cope on his own he needs someone else.
Poppy123 i feel for you because you desperately want him to change and make your relationship work. Well let me advise you from my personal experience you got to be cruel to be kind.
So put your foot down and tell him you are leaving or you have moved on because you have had enough of his behaviour and addiction, you need to make the change 1st and show him that to wake him up and make him realise what impact this is having on his relationship with you and he might just stop.
Bare in mind he can’t stop overnight he can only cut down slowly slowly and you will need to support him in that.
Iv been going through this shit life myself .
I simply walked away and put my foot down and my husband started drinking excessively and taking more drugs than usual because he had nothing else to turn to .
That is his only coping mechanism and when i finally took him back after his begging and pleading with me i was firm with him on his addiction. I told him il support him this one last time in coming off everything slowly slowly but he must not lie to me about anything he agreed.
So far he has been good and has cut down alot but we still got a long way to go.
We sat down and spoke about everything and he was totally open and honest with me about everything what makes him want to sniff and drink . So we are woking on it together.
I know my husband loves me a lot and loves his family with me and he doesn’t want to lose us so i use that against him and threaten him il leave again and this time forever.
You need to think of something that you know will make him leave his addiction for .
Please don’t get me wrong my husband isn’t totally clean yet he had some few days ago after a whole week but at-least he didn’t lie to me or hide it from me and he asked me if he could have some because he really was getting desperate for it so I allowed him and he didn’t go ott with it.
Im not on here to break anyone’s marriage or relationships up , i just want to help others because iv gone through the same shit .
You need to accept this addiction is going no where and the drama’s that come with it will continue until he himself gets help and change.
You can nagg him day and night to change and help but it will make no difference.
You have to be firm .. either you live with this or you leave . Simple .
Exactly my point they love cocaine more and alcohol.
He gets up and leaves probably he doesn’t want to face what he did the night before.
My husband does the same and i can say the same that he is a nice person when he isn’t on his addiction but the question is how many days is he actually sober/clean to show that good sign.
Is it even worth the mental stress you are having to go through.
I used to sit and cry and wonder is he cheating on me and i not good enough for him blah blah ..
now I couldn’t care less what and who he is sleeping with.
They are waste
He will know there is a problem when you leave him when you make that 1st move and show him the door .
At the moment he doesn’t see any problem because it hasn’t effected him bcoz he is living his life just fine how he wants it.
It’s you who is being effected , it’s you who is having to cancel your motorbike training not him.
As long as he can get his beauty sleep and then when he wakes up you are there to comfort him that’s all good for him.
They can’t take on any kind of responsibility. I was forever cancelling appointments and not attending events because of him .
He will only do things for me under pressure when he either knows she will kick me out now or either when i have kicked him out and he wants to come back . It’s always about them not us.
They don’t love us they only love their drugs and love what we do for them.
They are very insecure people .
Mine has tried getting me jelous telling me he has moved on with someone else and she’s apparently better than me lol . Good riddance.
Hi guys this is to you all … iv been living with a lying cheat manipulated narcissistic cocaine user Alcohol drinker and daily weed smoker ..
my life has been hell with him because of his addiction and he will not get help or admit he has a problem and im sick to death of all the problems this is bringing to the marriage. Financial problems domestic violence etc .
He wants sex every time he has had cocaine . Iv caught him watching pornography and chatting to other girls and then to hurt me he tells me he is cheating on me and belittle me all the time . I just can’t cope no more so iv decided to put my foot down and leave him. Hope that teaches him a lesson
Hi help my husband is on cocaine every third day he needs it
When you leave he will beg for you back and probably do it more .
Hi poppy1234, hi Ambaj24 ,
Reading your messages has reminded me of my 4 year marriage with a Narcassist and a cocaine/alcohol/weed addict . I lived on the edge. His mood swings his manipulation his demand for sex , the arguments the financial problems. I stressed myself out to the point i became suicidal. Bottom line is If he doesn’t want to change himself then there is nothing you can do to help. You will live a miserable life with him even though you are the victim you will be made to believe you push him to drugs etc.
most likely he will cheat and go on dating sites and watch pornography.
Best thing to do is leave him