[jjanon]

The doctor is a good suggestion, but the issue is she doesn’t drink to a level that any doctor would admit is dangerous. Sure, I’m sure more than the recommended units some times, but units wise on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, it’s not an unusual level.

We have tried to insist on a psychologist in the past, but at the time she laughed it off, but offered not to drink like that if it upset us and worried us. That lasted 3 months or so.

There is something child like about her attitude to it. Like a child caught having sweets before dinner.

At this stage we aren’t trying to get her to stop drinking. We are trying to get her to stop taking herself off, drinking a high volume alone, and then rejoining us.

Its like a tug of war at the moment. She tries to get us accept the behavior because she says it doesn’t stop her doing something and we are repeatedly saying it isn’t normal and that she does it on those rare occasions we are there and she knows it hurts us is the issue.

I’m thinking we need to refuse to visit until she agrees not to do it more.

[jjanon]

There isn’t anything you can do while she is convinced there isn’t a problem.

Im quite sure her family life wasn’t great and you can paint a long and tragic tale, but do you want to continue to be part of it?

You don’t have children with her and one of hers is now an adult and the other is old enough to know better. You are right to feel hard done by on that front.

Part of the problem is you keep bailing out her bad decisions. So much so the consequences of her actions don’t belong to her. She already is convinced you will go back to her if she creates the right situation and promises the right things.

The daughter’s attitude to cocaine appears to be a financial one. Which means at some point she will either get on it or look for other options between the price of weed and cocaine.

So, I’d say, leave her. No doubt she will try things to get you back, but while she is happy to abuse so many substances and doesn’t see it as a problem, there isn’t anything you can do. She needs to reach an emotional and consequence low before she will even consider changing and that isn’t going to happen with you around.

[jjanon]

Actually he is quite a common type of alcoholic.

He is what is referred to as a functioning alcoholic. I can’t help more than that, but he does fit into one of the 5 main types and that should help you research it.

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