[kate1]

He says he is giving his job up today, won’t be going home, no one will hear from him again……because I got his hopes up and now say I won’t give him 1000. His partner has a friend at her house shouting let him f…..rot……..I don’t know where to turn my head is spinning

[kate1]

I have been abroad and pestered by calls no money for car insurance….oh well it’s your fault I can’t get to work…….

I feel so tearful I don’t want to see them lose their house but if it’s not this month it will be next month to the one after if he doesn’t stop it’s going to happen…so in the meantime why should I keep chucking money at him. I am worried what these dealers will do if he doesn’t pay them though…..has your son ever had to deal with people coming after him

[kate1]

I have been thinking about it constantly if I thought by giving him money for the rent he would turn it around I would do it, but I have heard it so many times. Maybe he needs to see the consequences of his choices. I have to keep reminding myself that it has been his choice, and he isn’t the son he was sadly. His partner, his family, his home, job, car all gone and by his decisions. I don’t know if I will be strong enough next week but I think I need to be. Like you my son owes so much money out I know I will never get any back, his stepchange doesn’t get paid more often than not I call them and pay……it’s got to stop. It hurts me but he is taking me with him

[kate1]

He was on the phone last night sounded really shaken…….your story really hits home to me……..and I will be in the same position already my money is dwindling away it’s 200 300 every month. 350 ish this month now 1000 for rent by 30th I feel so guilty that I don’t want to keep giving this money to him. I should not be put in this position……

[kate1]

My son rang me last night to tell me he wouldn’t let me down…..he didn’t know what he owed the dealers but it was around 1000 even that I am not sure if it’s true why can’t he give an exact figure. I hated it because his voice was shaky and he sounded so nervous…..my head says not to take out a loan to pay their rent, his girlfriend says if he doesn’t pay back she will. My head says for his own good let him lose everything maybe it will be the shock he needs……I feel sick with worry I need to decide by next Friday. In my heart I know he will let me down but I hope…….

[kate1]

Is there a phone number please

[kate1]

My son is 27….I feel I have got his hopes up now by saying I would take out a loan for him……I hate all this….I know whatever I do things won’t get better and then I will be left with a debt…..I have given hundreds of pounds to try to help him…..I know really I should have cut off the money a long time ago….at one point I did, I kicked him out, he lost his job car everything….it’s happening again. If I thought it would change things I would give him the money….

[kate1]

I am 61 this month, just took out a mortgage for a nicer home to spend the rest of my life in but my savings are going down at an alarming rate….I will go down with him if I am not careful

[kate1]

No I understand totally…..his partner has now got angry with me saying she won’t be coming on a holiday I booked and paid for because she will be living somewhere else…only talk about the kids from now on she says….god I hope I am doing right…..what is the Icarus trust I saw a post from them on here, didnt know if I should call them

[kate1]

I make things worse by trying to help ….his partner has just said he will get stressed now if I don’t help……oh god I hate it,……my daughter says I will end up in debt, she works for a drug agency and they tell her to tell me not to give any money……what if he gets hurt though…….in my heart I know if I bail him out within a week he will go off and do it again

[kate1]

Your post ring so true to me….he has done the payday loans…he is up to his eyes in debt. He is with stepchange but even that doesn’t get paid. I know you are right in my heart……what do I do ….say I have had second thoughts…….but I don’t believe he will change….it will just give him the scope to continue doing it……did your son ever not pay dealers….that is a big worry they want there money by 30th…..what will happen…….I know from the past he has promised to pull it round and not managed it….not even tried really ……so maybe you are right …..and maybe I won’t do it…..I have just took out another mortgage and I shouldn’t be struggling I Amon my own but work…but he is dragging me down

[kate1]

I have said I will now…..what can I do…….his girlfriend says if he doesn’t pay me she will…..it’s hers and the children’s home……am I wrong to do this, maybe someone who is in my sons position can tell me please

[kate1]

Thank you I will be in touch….I had a heart to heart with him today…..I know he wants to stop and is upset he lets everyone down. He has kept these dealers waiting as long as he can……so I have told him to pay them off I will take out a loan to pay rent arrears so they still have a home and they will pay me back……I hope and pray he has had enough of a wake up call this time

[kate1]

Much as I love him and hate seeing the position he puts himself in I know by helping him I am just enabling him so it has to stop

[kate1]

So bloody sad….but you are right danman 83 if these people would leave him alone it would help. But of course they won’t because they know he is an easy target…….so what will happen if he can’t pay them….up to now he has scraped by but now I refuse to throw any more money away……..

Like your husband how his debts are just mounting and mounting and we all suffer……

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