[kayleigh]

Hi,

I totally feel your pain… and I totally agree with Butterfly123 response although we can all agree it’s very hard. I’m still learning in my 33 years how to step back when I can. You feel heartless at first but it’s not. One thing I would suggest which is difficult.. when your mother calls next time saying that she is suicidal- call the ambulance about your concerns. It doesn’t matter if she’s intoxicated. They will attend her property and assess her and take her to A & E so that she can meet with the mental health team. The mental health team will keep her until she’s sober so that they can assess her (and will likely send her home with outreach support if she accepts). But this can sometimes help them understand the consequences of their actions and words and how serious the matter is, as well as be accountable. If you do this I would also suggest not going to the hospital as sometimes when we try and help we’re not actually helping but enabling and they expect us to save them.

I’ve had to do this last night and I’ve noticed that it makes her more accountable for her actions as she was forced to address her threats of suicide when she was sober. It’s not easy but this helps me step back sometimes and gives me hope that the professionals will hopefully get through to her.

Someone said to me yesterday… it’s not fair- she’s lived her life and now she’s effecting yours. It’s very true. I’m starting to feel as though life is passing me by and I need to be selfish to an extent in order to live and not be effected. For you it’s important that your not robbed of enjoying motherhood and your life because of your mother’s addiction. I hope things get better for you x

[Author]

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