[kaza]

Hi Ash2013,

Wow you are very strong.

I actually don’t know if I can continue for another 8 years. He is a good man but is an absolutely ugly human when on that stuff or needing that stuff.

I will have a read at your other threads.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Xx

[kaza]

Hi Ash2013,

I am trying to get my head around ‘his problem isn’t my problem’ but then when you get married you vow to help each other.

Is your husband in recovery / recovered?

Thank you for your advice x

[kaza]

I also had this. My hubby used to say, ‘I’m not good enough. I never have been’.

I stayed strong for weeks and it broke my heart.

How many weeks has it been for you now? X

[kaza]

It’s really hard.

Tough love vs real love.

I have no clue what the correct answer is. I just know I hate the damn drug. It’s taken to many lives. I don’t understand addiction either but I do know that we cannot help unless the want to help themselves.

It’s taken a long time for him to see and hit rock bottom. And it got worse before it got better.

People looking in on our lives must think we’re bonkers for putting up with them. Maybe we are? I’m reading about co-dependency at the minute. I suppose it’s about self love also.

If it was the other way around and I was the addict, do I think my husband would leave me? No I don’t. And sometimes that’s what makes me feel guilty x

[kaza]

Oh don’t get me wrong I’ve taken him back so many times.

It’s so confusing what to do.

Do you not have any hope with your husband? X

[kaza]

Hi

He’s got support from a neighbour who is clean and a family man. He said he couldn’t of done it without him which is sad because I’ve always stood by him.

I’m just now looking for support which is when I was advised to join this group.

[kaza]

Your situation does sound very similar.

I am always waiting or anticipating the ‘next’ thing.

Does anyone every get passed this or is it a big waste of energy. 8 years is such a long time.

I am now wondering should I of done more to help. We’ve argued, I’ve shut myself down so many times unable to reciprocate love. Because I don’t understand this addiction. How it can rule our lives.

He’s actually been very distant with me since he’s been gone so maybe this is the final part of our relationship and we’ve hit the end which makes me feel very sad.

[Author]

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