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First off he would need to want to address his drug issues and secondly using 2 times per week or when he drinks is not recreational use! He has a problem with Cocaine and is an active user.
There are services that would help him, all he needs to do is find his local drugs service. Also, he could attend CA meetings – he would find these meetings online at the moment. NA is also widely available – these are 12 step programmes helping people to overcome/address their addiction.
He would need to advise his GP absolutely, as they may be able to prescribe a different treatment plan such as, medication (anti depressants) and talking therapies.
Ultimately he would need to want to address these issues. If he isn’t willing too I’d still Suggest all of the above, to start the ball rolling.
Cocaine ruins people and their families.
Please get support for yourself as this could quite easily break you also.
Warm wishes
I think the behaviour is the same as a narc ????. It makes sense because they really only function with their ego! The ramifications are the same I tell ya!
As for him spending time with you then leaving like that, well that’s just cruel. It’s unkind.
There is no life with that kinda person!
I feel as though the damage I’m allowing myself to go thru with all this crap is going to affect me with future people! They’ve probably messed us up!
It literally changes people into monsters! Egotistical with no soul! It’s as though any ounce of decency diminishes and you just can’t reach them!
It’s a constant ego boost they need. Similar to a narc actually
Yeh they don’t really invest the best versions of themselves to us so what’s the point. I don’t feel special or happy, only miserable and it’s lonely!
All quiet so far didn’t hear anything since. I feel as though he’ll go on one now and start later or next week. Thing is he knows I’ve had enough now. Not wasting my life anymore on something I’m getting only hurt out of.
They always come back it’s just down to you what you do when he does ????
Well in the end I drug tested him and needless to say he was positive. You’d know by his behaviour! Might do you good to do some research online as there’s some good tips on how to recognize when they are on it.
You can read my story if you click on my name. I do understand, as unfortunately this ended my relationship with my ex of 22 years. I also couldn’t have it around our girls. Sorry you’re going through this it’s just awful and it is confusing to say the least. In the end I had a break down over it so please look after yourself.
Surround yourself with friends and family and keep talking on here.
I have no idea I didn’t see him but he was angry apparently ????
Yep he bloody turned up at my work and he was sent away ????????
I was in shock but knew he’d kick off
First off, addiction doesn’t discriminate, it can happen to anyone from any walk of life!
Is he an addict? Well, cocaine is highly addictive, so by what you e described I would say so yes ????.
It sure doesn’t sound like he wants to stop either, as he wants to “let his hair down”. That’s the drug talking. That drug will ruin your life anyway, so the choice sooner or later will be out of your hands as to what to do!
Loss is one of the significant issues with this devil drugs. It destroys people and families.
He would want to want help and until that happens id turn your attention back on you and the kids. That drug will drag you all down onto the hell it causes.
Keep talking and set some boundaries, what you will and won’t accept and stick with it.
Best of luck
Well you’ll get strength one day to kick him to the curb. Let’s see how this pans out now ????
Exactly. I think you get to a point where you decide enough is enough. No one is worth your inner peace. So much more to life and I need a lil calm in my life right now. Time to adjust the crown dust me self down and live on
Ah I’m done with it all. I’d rather the pain now and get over it than it to continue. Can’t live this way forever.
Someone told me I know amongst other stuff.
I have to go through with it because I know I’m worth more than that crap. It’s all psychological and I’m playing a dangerous game.
Well, I’ve done it. F**Ked him off and turned my phone off! Had enough. Found out he was in a bath robe with someone (female).
Lies lies lies. Now he is on his own! I am dreading the next few days now.
Rehab works well if they have a plan for when they get out afterwards. Rehab can hold them whilst they’re there but it’s when they get out people are known to relaspe!
Set up some counselling for after he finishes rehab
Best of luck
Oh wow I can sense you are angry, and that’s not a criticism as it sounds like you’ve been through alot of worry and heartache! Sorry you’ve had to cope with all of this????.
Have you tried accessing services such as Al Anon for yourself! I think us family members get so affected and so consumed with the addict we forget ourselves!
Ok, as for substance misuse services I find it useful if we clarify what they actually do. So, you have stand alone alcohol services, drug services and “integrated” – the integrated could be the one your brother attends, however it might be useful to enquire whether or not it is a stand alone prescribing service, as they are there to deal with the “physical dependancy”. Now, that being said he would and should be offered support for psychosocial interventions, so that he can get the “encouragement” you speak about. I hope this makes some sense to you. There are other additional services such as mutual aid also in the community that can help others.
Heroin and crack are very powerful drugs and so so addictive as you’ve observed yourself! No addict wants the life they’ve subjected themselves too, although from the outside it doesn’t seem that way!
Any addiction includes, psychological, sometimes physical, behavioural and social so this on top of the initial drug, along with the mixing of drugs contributes to the difficulty in recovery! Not impossible though I agree.
Some psychological symptoms of heroin are, shame, guilt, hopelessness, poor judgement and so on!
These are just some factors! Without the physical issues, weight loss, exhaustion, constipation, persist flu like symptoms, itchiness, sleep issues, damage to organs and so much more.
Doesn’t sound so easy does it now! I think we can home in on “but the above why would they want that to continue”
It doesn’t happen straight away you see, and when addiction takes hold they are battling with the above.
Now, perhaps focus on you now, and finding ways to detach a little. People in addiction destroy themselves and others around them! You can be there still but you must take good care of yourself first. Start with some boundaries and sticking with them. That could be something as small as putting YOU first!
You could ask the service your brother is in about buddy supports etc? So long as your brother consents, that way you can be in the loop about his treatment, and perhaps then take a step back with the knowledge that these professionals are taking good care of him
They are amazing people what they do!