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Lemony, reading your story made me sad as I can relate so much to what you’ve described. It is sad, bloody tragic! I feel as though my dreams, future and happiness have all diminished!
Going through all of what you are with the divorce, house situation and your feelings is absolutely heartbreaking! It’s actually probably the most stressful thing to go thru, but here you are reaching out to others. You’re brave and that’s the things with this sort of deep sadness, although we get left wounded we have to pick ourselves up and carry on, even though it’s hard too.
I hope you find some peace soon and happiness wherever you can find it
Mines doing the same. I think it could be he is waiting for me to contact. Hell a freeze over before I contact! Had enough of it all.
It’s an empty pit of disappointment!
I don’t get excited anymore to be fair I’m always just fed up with it.
It’s so unhealthy and make sure you’re careful with him when he stays with you. Nah this guy is a joker. I’d defo try work this guy out of your system! It’s all games isn’t it. Seems this way and you’re getting hurt! Ain’t right
What kind of things is she posting? And nah you have more class than to contact or speak up to some random girl. I think he has gone to far! And he has got used to you being there even though women are in his life. At least mine tries to hide it. Although I don’t know which way is worse ????
People who have to state they’re happy online are far from happy! That screams self esteem issues to me.
Are you watching to see if she says anything about him? I’d suggest trying not to look at it as it’s only going to wind you up.
Right listen here, you definitely need a game changer. Stop the messages like that, and sit it out. Meaning, don’t be so available to him, definitely don’t do the sarcasm because he will ignore you because he knows you’re right. And maybe it isn’t killing you physically but lil by lil it will kill your self esteem! It’s so horrible and destructive.
It’s disgusting what they get up too and they chat with anything! I don’t believe it when they say that I’m the only one, although I know I’m in some warped way important to him! Like I’m his back up plan!
They lie lie lie. The amount of phones he has broken because I’ve called him out is ridiculous.
They are mugs! All of them
This is true Jenny, when my ex partner went he was demanding 7k from me strangely! Obvs I said NO. But he was relentless, and I did think he may have run up debts. He then asked for ladders at our house which are worth money and again I said no.
Spot on you can’t have a relationship with an addict as like me I went down like a sinking ship! And it nearly killed me.
They do love it because it strokes their ego. Ego is all they have left. Empty shells!
We end up playing some sort a toxic game because I was thinking just then “ignore him back”. See, that’s what this behaviour does to us.
I get the ole when will he contact, and the only reassuring thing I can say is that HE WILL.
Nah I haven’t because he will flip one and I’m in no mood today to deal with that Jerry Springer crap! I will though this week! If I was to text him now and say that’s it he would call in seconds constantly!
As for the girl, forget that! It will only affect you more. I look at the women now as an empty shell just like him. He thinks because he tells me about women I’m ok with it. Wth!!!
I don’t even think about all that because it would hurt to much and when my mind goes there I’m in bits, so yeh I get why you’re angry!
No they wouldn’t call out the blue and ask for 7k. He would have to be assessed for a detox or whatever it is he is attending for.
Good you did the welfare check that kept in safe and made sure he knows you are taking his words seriously even if he isn’t.
Boundaries is key to keeping sane! I’d say there is no life with an addict so unless they get better for themselves then we’re pretty much doing life solo anyway.
Wow, sorry I went to bed early last night and just seen this. I can imagine you’re not very happy right now! It’s that rollercoaster ride again – but I hope you don’t let him talk you round as his taking the absolute piss here!
This is what I mean, these men are out there having a party and here we are trying to care and love them! Doesn’t seem right huh! Yeh I’m gonna do the same today! Tell him to feck right off! Had enough now!
I don’t blame you for being angry! He should be thankful for you but these guys aren’t because they sort of have us on a string and there we are dangling for them!
Will you tell him you’re done or just ignore him?
It’s exhausting isn’t it. I wondered at some point why I attracted them so much. Turns out my mum had traits so I was a product of that behaviour and went to what was familiar to me!
I can spot them (narcs) a mile off too but I went into therapy and I learned how to manage them! I think I just wanted to fix them all haha
Anyways I think mine has probably got some traits, but a full on narc nah I don’t think so. He has a huge heart and he gets sad when I’m sad etc. Narcs are selfish and unfeeling!
As for the regrets well no you can’t change some of the things done but you can certainly avoid repeating or making amends as well as forgiving self!
Regrets can be used as a positive to make changes but they don’t see it that way. They love to wallow in self pity instead of standing tall and taking ownership of their issues.
That push and pull tho is exactly what we are both experiencing!
Oh goodness, you know how strange, he said his ex partner was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder! It does make me think about some of the traits. I have experienced the lies and manipulation but put this down to drug use. I know his past haunts him and I’m sure there is so much more to it that he hasn’t shared, however he does not seem to move forward in an healthy way! Hasn’t worked thru any of it!
I’ve known my fair share of narcissists in my time and I’m an empath so I attract the assho**s. With him tho im not so sure.
I do wonder tho ????
Oh same here and what’s worse is that the “bad stuff” he seems haunted by. I see his potential and actually he allows me to see him and not this version he portrays himself to be to the world.
I have no idea when it will end, most likely when we’ve had enough!