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I’m so sorry. You know straight away what the following day has in store when they fall asleep downstairs.
My partner has had a bad week. Like yours, he can keep off it. He’s gone a few weeks before when he needed to start new medication, and he’s plenty of times he’s withdrawn.
We are supposed to be seeing my family in the garden today and he’s so excited to see my nephews, but I know by 1 he will have drank. He’s “taken the dog a walk.” He’s getting cigarettes, so I know he will get a bottle.
You sound like you’ve been patient and tried everything for him. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty about anything. I know it’s hard, but we can’t change them. I feel guilt now and then over the very start of it. I knew from years ago that this certain anti depressant didn’t suit him when he drank any alcohol and he got drunk fast, but when the Dr gave him it this time around, I thought tough. It did help his mental health, but I could see what it was doing and didn’t help. Even on shandy’s you could tell he’d drank. I told him to stop altogether, but he didn’t. The logic of going onto vodka is beyond me, but everyone tells me to stop blaming myself.
He lost his licence over being silly. He took my car to the chip shop, he’d had shandy’s earlier on. Car broke down, my recovery was delayed and so the police stopped by and of course he failed the test. I think his driving awareness course telling him about vodka being better units didn’t help.
My partner isn’t strong willed to make changes, which worries me.
He broke down last night and so’s she hates how he is. He often does this.
He finally agreed to AA. He hates speaking in front of others, but said he will try.
You’re already detaching by taking yourself away from him when he’s drank which is good, but yeah I totally get why having to go upstairs annoys you, I’d be the same. I long for the time he goes to bed, for some time alone.
I hope your Easter gets better. Chat whenever you need to x
Gosh I could have written your last post myself.
My partner has always liked a drink, but never got drunk. He had a breakdown and the anti depressants increase alcohol in his system.
August 2019, he started drinking shorts. Rum and then vodka. A small amount and he gets drunk. I feel guilty for not making him come off them. I knew what they’d do as he was on them years back and alcohol didn’t mix back them.
I just kept saying he should make the right choice. Not sure he was in the right headspace at all to do so.
A year on, he’s agreed to rehab. It’s been a lot of sweet talking and encouragement, but he’s agreed and wants it. Hasn’t stopped him drinking. I know it’s an illness. The addiction sets in….but, I still believe there’s an element of choice. He says he drinks outta habit. Sunday’s for example, he doesn’t always drink cos he knows he has work Monday. Thousands have people have stopped drinking, so there is an element of choice I do think.
Maybe that makes me feel better cos it breaks my heart to think of it as an illness.
Rehab will be months and months off, if he does get a place.
Since last year, he was furloughed five months which spiralled his drinking, and then he’s had times he’s been sent home from work. Now he’s had a gross misconduct.
I feel numb now. Hatred at times. I used to search for bottles and cover, but not now. It’s on him.
I feel like I’m losing out on my life. I wanted kids and it’s not happening. Not fully cos of his drinking, but partly that. I worry like you, that if I left, how he would cope. I don’t think it would stun him into stopping. It would do the opposite and he would drink more and give up.