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Thank you Eddie. We are trying to get support with turning point but it’s a very slow process as while waiting, feeling very unsupported.
Hello Eddie, I hope you are well. I hope you don’t mind but I have had a look at your link and was wondering where you are based. Is it oxford? If so how far does your support cover? Thank you
Personally I would say he has an addiction but I am not a professional. He sounds like he does depend on them which I believe is addiction. The patterns are very similar for drug use. My partner will use all day then he won’t eat, sleep very well, is restless and then the next day he tries not to touch it and becomes low, eats or grazes all day, is low in mood, snappy and irritable. Unfortunately if your husband is not admitting a problem it won’t change if he thinks nothing is wrong or there are no issues. I don’t think I could be so supportive or stand by my partner if he wasn’t willing to face it and fix things but It’s a tough one x
That sounds like a vicious circle you need to break, for the both of you.
Has he admitted he has a problem? Nothing will change unless he has and wants to stop. That is the only plus I am clinging on to with my partner, that he wants to stop and is accepting help from turning point. If your husband does want help you can refer him and they will contact him within 48 hours. I also found calling the FRANK line helpful as they suggested to write a list of things he could do to distract himself. If your husband wants to get clean there is help out there or I can offer some things we are finding helpful but unless he wants to, there is no helping him and things will not improve for you until he does xx
Jinn54, it is very hard. My partner says horrible things to me as well but I know it is not him and that he is struggling. I feel guilted into giving him money for the stuff as well so that he doesn’t get his legs broken for owing people money. It’s a tricky one for me, do I buy it when he needs it or let him rack up debt which I will have to pay off anyway. Have you tried turning point for some support? I referred him to turning point and he is so far accepting the support so fingers crossed. How much is your partner using? Gives you a general idea of how bad the problem is?
Xx
Yes I think you are right, your husband would turn to drugs more probably as he would feel abandoned. It’s a tricky one, the drugs do things to the brain that don’t make them think like they usually would or should. You should never blame yourself though and try to look after yourself as well, it can be just as hard for you as it is for him. First step is for an addict to admit he does it and/or has a problem. We have only just got to this stage after 6 months of thinking he was doing well.
Keep your chin up guys
Xx
Hello ladies, I hope you are both as well as can be in your current situations. I myself am currently in a long term relationship with an addict, he has used for years but we all thought he was getting better but it turned out he was getting worse, just better at hiding it. He spends about £100-£300 a week using which has put us in massive financial difficulties and in debt with the wrong kind of people.
However, what I have learnt is to accept him during his addiction. It is a disease and no one sets out to become an addict. He gets overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and feels unworthy as it is so I do not worsen that pain for him but instead he has admitted he has a problem and as a family we are trying to support him and lessen his drug use first. Sadly there is not a lot of help out there that doesn’t have a massive waiting list or isn’t costly. Every day is a battle for us and we both have different battles every day. We are trying to get to the root cause of why he began using in the first place and I have suggested counselling but he said he is not ready for that yet which tells me there are things he needs to unpack that he cannot face yet. An addict needs to feel supported and loved to help them toward their recovery. It is hard, my god it is hard but just know they do not go out of their way to hurt you and keep using.
I wish you guys the best and anything you may wish to ask or I can help with let me know x