[kiki]

Ive just gone on here today for the first time – very very similar story to Broken re the girlfriend (i know she hit him too) My son is 19 (20 in October) was the most loving kind funny lad – I like all Mums on here have cried and cried and almost feel like I’m mourning the son I once had. Lately he has started punching walls and doors when I question him or try to mention help. I am frighted to tell my husband of 29 years happy marriage about the abuse that gets hurled at me as he says he wants to ‘knock his block off” btw my husband is not a violent man and has never laid a hand on me and has been like myself a brilliant father and husband. I have just witnessed an hour ago my son slamming the door as usual and walking up the path – turning back round spitting and calling me a C… (sorry about that) He does not come from a violent home or a home where we have every permitted swearing etc. As I am writing this I almost feel that I can’t quite believe how all this has happened over the last year and how angry and abusive m dear son has become. He has gambled and been overdrawn a few times and before I realised what was going on we cleared his overdraft and spent many times sitting down talking to him. I am now just trying to decide the best course of action. Like you all I kept blaming myself as some sort of bad mother and a failure but then when I sit quietly and reflect on everything I’ve done for him and all the love he has had I do know in my heart that I have been a good Mum – I do think I am beginning to ramble now but I just needed somewhere to go and see if I can get any help and advice from other people going through the same. My heart goes out to all of you on here as I am now realising what lies ahead. I am usually a strong person and I do realise that I have to stay well for the sake of my older son, husband, grandson and future grandson (due any day now) The only way I think I can ever help my dear son is for me to get help and stay strong if I can – Just want to say thank you for listening and reading this and my heart goes out to all of you xxxxxxxx

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